How to Gently Tell Someone They're a Bad Kisser

Fun as it might be in theory, kissing doesn't always go as smoothly as you'd hope.

Unfortunately, some people are just bad kissers. Now, normally you can simply ignore your negative kissing experiences and move on with your life, never to lock lips with that person again. But other times, the bad kisser might be an S.O. or a very serious crush, and in that case you have to break the news that their kissing needs some work.

So how do you tell someone that they're a bad kisser without totally destroying their self-esteem? Keep scrolling for our best tips.

1. Say What You Like, Not What You Don't

The easiest way to gently tell someone they're a bad kisser is to avoid telling them. We're not saying you should settle for subpar kissing, but instead of telling them everything they're doing wrong, tell them what you prefer or what you like when kissing. If you're very clearly stating that you like something different than what they're doing, they'll (hopefully) get the message and change their habits. It avoids you actually having to say anything negative and it provides them with actionable things they can change about their kissing—it's a win-win.

The Kissing Booth: Elle and Noah's first kiss

(The Kissing Booth via Netflix)


2. Pull Away

Normally there are pretty specific things you don't like about your partner's kissing. One way to communicate that is to simply pull away when your partner starts to do them. It's a little passive-aggressive, but it gets the message across that you're not very happy with the way things are going. It might wound their pride a little, but with enough time they'll start to realize what they need to adjust and hopefully improve their kissing abilities.


3. Talk About It in a General Sense

Telling someone that they, specifically, are a bad kisser is going to be very rough on their self-esteem. It's likely they won't take an outright confession like that well, which is why it might be better to talk about your kissing likes or dislikes in a general sense. Don't make it specific to them, just choose an unrelated moment where kissing is not taking place and bring up a few of your preferences. If they're smart, they'll try to incorporate your likes and dislikes into your next makeout sesh, improving their skills without a blow to their self-esteem.

Riverdale's Betty and Jughead kiss

(Riverdale via The CW)


4. Be Honest

If all the under the radar tactics don't work to improve your partner's kissing skills and you really want to continue seeing them, you have to just be honest. Tell them that you don't love their kissing style and suggest concrete ways that they can improve. It might be a tough conversation, but it's better for them to know and be able to make it better than to continue their bad kissing habits. And on the plus side, it gives you a chance to practice your kissing with someone you care about, which isn't the worst thing in the world.


Still waiting on your first kiss? Click HERE for what we wish we knew before ours.