How to Deal When Someone Flirts With Your S.O.

It can feel like it, but someone flirting with your S.O. isn't the end of the world.

It's not an easy situation to navigate, but there are steps you can take to keep your cool and react in a manner that will help you come out on top. Keep reading to find out how you should respond to someone hitting on your significant other.

Diagnose the Situation

While your first instinct may be to get jealous and enraged when you see someone flirting with your S.O., it's a good idea to stop and make sure that something serious is actually happening before you let yourself get worked up. If the person is a stranger, and someone that neither of you will probably see again, chances are that they didn't even know you were together and were just being their flirty selves. Someone might simply be seeing the same desirable qualities in your partner that you see. If they didn't mean any harm and your S.O. doesn't engage them by flirting back, it wasn't meaningful and you should try your best to let it go.

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(Riverdale via The CW)

 

Measure Your S.O.'s Response

Unfortunately, flirting isn't always that innocent. But hopefully, when someone aggressively flirts with your S.O.—particularly in front of you—they'll immediately do the right thing and let them know they're taken. When that doesn't happen, things get a little bit trickier. If they're totally oblivious or just don't respond, that's one thing. If they flirt back, that's another issue entirely.

 

Get Involved

S.O. not stopping the flirting in its tracks? That might mean it's time for you to get involved. If someone hits on your S.O. when you're right there, don't be afraid to butt in and introduce yourself as their partner. That may not get them to stop entirely, but at least it lets them know the situation and puts them in an awkward position if they want to keep up the flirtation.

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(Stranger Things via Netflix)

 

Keep the High Ground

If you're someone who likes to get back at those who cross you, definitely resist that temptation. Don't go flirting with their S.O., or some other random person, just to try to get even. By not starting a scene and doing what you can to be the better person, it shows that you're confident in yourself and that you trust your significant other. Obviously, flirting with someone is a worse offense than letting someone flirt with you. And at the end of the day, if you publicly demonstrate that their behavior is making you a jealous mess, they win.

 

Talk It Over With Your S.O.

While you probably can't discuss the situation with your partner while it's happening, it can be good to talk about it with them later if it made you uncomfortable. You shouldn't be afraid to let them know when something makes you vulnerable, or even a little jealous. It's important to share your true feelings with them, and if they know it's hurting you and they care about you, they'll do what they can to prevent it the next time around.

Try not to overreact, but let them know if there were specific things they did that bothered you, or things you hope they'd do in the future. Let them know you'd like them to mention your relationship if it happens again, and that they definitely shouldn't be flirting back.

If you find that your S.O. keeps flirting back after you've chatted with them, or you see a pattern of strangers flirting with them because they enable it, then you probably have a bigger issue on your hands.

 

Consider Speaking Directly With the Flirt

Most of the time, a confrontation in these situations isn't needed (and might only make them worse). However, on rare occasions where the person knows you two are an item and repeatedly flirts with your S.O. anyway, it may be time to speak directly with the big flirt.

Some people are just naturally flirty, and if you think that's the case with them, let them know you don't think they're doing it on purpose, but that it's bothering you. If you think they are doing it on purpose, you'll probably stop them cold in their tracks if you ask them why they keep flirting with your special someone. While you're doing this, do what you can to keep your cool. The more collected you are, the more likely they are to take you seriously and back off.

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(Pretty Little Liars via Freeform)

 

Are you having problems coming across as too flirty? Click HERE to find out how to avoid giving someone the wrong idea if you're a natural flirt.