7 Signs You Have an Unhealthy Obsession With Your Ex

In the complex messiness of life, there are a few universal truths we can count on.

The sky is blue, the grass is green and your relationship with your ex will always be complicated. Letting go of someone you care about is never easy, but how do you know if your struggles to move on have taken a turn down a destructive path?

Keep scrolling for seven signs you have an unhealthy obsession with your ex.

You Can't Stop Thinking About Them

Reflecting on past memories with your ex is normal, but if you find that your ex is always on your mind, you might have a problem. Not only does constantly thinking about this person hinder you from moving on effectively, it's also a sign that you're not quite ready to let go of your relationship.

Sadly, letting go is exactly what you have to do—and replaying the positive moments of your relationship on a loop won't change things. You have a certain amount of control over your thoughts, so constantly keeping your ex on your mind is definitely moving into the realm of obsessive behavior.

Cher Clueless Thinking

(Clueless via Paramount Pictures)


You're Constantly Stalking Their Social Media

Ugh, social media—the perfect way to stop yourself from moving on after a breakup. Social media puts all your ex's post-breakup behavior right at your fingertips. All you have to do is click a few buttons and you'll have a pretty good idea of what their life is like without you… or will you?

It's important to remember that social media only portrays one side of the story, and it's usually the positive side. Not only is social media stalking guaranteed to make you feel worse, it's also incredibly unhealthy behavior. If you find that you're compulsively checking up on your ex via social media, your behavior has definitely moved into the obsessive realm.


You Change Plans to Run Into Them

Changing your behavior to make your S.O. happy while you're in a relationship can be pretty harmful, so changing your plans for your ex is definitely unhealthy. Maybe you've convinced your friends to head to a movie that you know your ex will see or you take an out-of-the-way route home with the hopes of running into them. Whatever form it might take, changing your plans with the hopes of running into your ex is not only obsessive, it's also a bit creepy. The two of you broke up, so the best thing you can do for yourself is avoid all contact for a while, no matter how difficult that might be.

Stefan and Elena Vampire Diaries

(The Vampire Diaries via The CW)


You Can't Stop Talking About Them

We've all been there—you've gotten through the breakup and you're feeling all right, but for some reason your ex's name keeps coming up like word vomit. Whether it's relating an old memory to a story your friend is telling or even complaining about how much you hate them, continuing to talk about your ex after a breakup only shows that you're struggling to move on.

Particularly, if you feel like you can'control how much you're talking about your ex, you might want to do a little soul-searching because your behavior is entering the territory of obsession.


You Compare Every New Dating Prospect to Them

Even if you thought your ex was your ultimate love and the perfect one for you, comparing every new dating prospect to them only reinforces an obsessive mindset. After all, your ex is an ex for a reason—looking for someone exactly like them will probably only result in the same heartbreak. Beyond that, comparing every potential dating possibility to your past S.O. will only keep you focused on your past relationship, instead of looking forward to better relationships in the future.

Rebecca and Josh Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

(Crazy Ex-Girlfriend via The CW)


You Find Reasons to Reach Out to Them

It's the number one rule of a breakup—do not reach out to your ex. Continuing to keep in contact with a past S.O. inhibits your ability to move on, and can even keep you hopeful that there might be a reconciliation in the future. A few slip-ups are understandable, but if you're constantly on the hunt for reasons to reach out to your ex, your behavior is becoming obsessive.

They don't need to be contacted every time you hear "your song" play in the car. It won't make them want to reunite with you, and your recovery process will be set back again and again with each "I miss you" text you send.


You Don't Want Them to Move On

If you've barely broken up a week ago and your S.O. has already started dating someone new, it's understandable that you're going to be upset. However, if you're a few months into the recovery process and you still don't want your S.O. to move on, your behavior is definitely entering unhealthy territory.

Part of letting go of your ex is understanding that they'll eventually find someone else. Refusing to accept this fact will only make you unhappy and keep you from looking for a new love, as well.


Wondering how you can prepare for your post-breakup behavior? Click HERE for how you act around your ex, based on your zodiac sign.