While the weather outside may be starting to get positively frightful, there’s still plenty to love about this time of year—namely, the holidays!
Not only are the holidays themselves a great deal of fun thanks to them being filled with family, friends, and more food than you could ever dream of, but they’re already packed with plenty of events—events that are especially fun to attend with your partner.
However, you need to actually be invited to said events in order for them to happen, and that’s where things can get sticky. Speaking of instances when the invite lies in their court rather than yours, it can feel a little hurtful when you know that they have an event coming up but don’t invite you to it. However, such a situation could mean plenty of things—and not all of them are bad! Without further ado, here’s what it could mean if your partner didn’t invite you to any holiday events this year.
Let’s get your worst possible fear out of the way: one potential reason (be it an unlikely one) that your partner didn’t invite you to any of their holiday events this year is because they don’t see things as being as far along as you do. Because of that, they might be wary about introducing you to all their family and friends, as would naturally be the case at such events. However, don’t let the thought of this get you down. First of all, there are plenty of reasons to assume that this isn’t the reason why you weren’t invited and second, it doesn’t mean that you can’t land on the same page about your relationship when these events are said and done. Just take it all with a grain of salt and approach everything with honesty and open communication.
If the person you’re dating is super close with their family and/or friends, that means that they place a lot of value on those people and their opinions about any major life decisions. As such, introducing a partner (you) would be a big deal, and one that they don’t take lightly. So, they may have avoided inviting you in order to buy themselves some time in terms of evaluating where the relationship stands and seeing if it would be worth it to introduce you to some of the people they’re closest with.
If communication is not your partner’s strong suit, they may have simply forgotten to actually speak out loud that they want you to come along with them to their next holiday event under the assumption that you “just knew” you were included. It’s always best to assume that this isn’t where your partner’s head is at in these situations, though, as nothing is worse than having to let someone down when they figured an invite was extended to them as well.
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The reason why you didn’t get an invite extended your way might be simply because there wasn’t one to extend, as some holiday events can be a little more “exclusive” about the guest list (especially if it’s a work or family event). While it definitely would’ve been better if your partner mentioned that they didn’t get a plus one from the start to quell any anxiety on your end, this is always a possibility.
A partner that cares about you can sometimes care a little too much, and that leads to you not being given the opportunity to voice that you’d actually love to go to some of the events they’re going to. They think they’re saving you the pain of having to tell them that you don’t want to, or the effort of having to plan a dish or even just an outfit to wear.
If your partner is the kind of person that has an ever-full calendar and who can’t keep their obligations straight for the life of them, there’s a chance that they may have simply forgotten about the event you think you’re missing out on.
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Before you start spiraling or acting passive-aggressive towards your partner because you’re suddenly feeling anxious about their feelings towards you, let’s get to the good stuff: how you can actually figure out which one of the reasons (or a completely different one entirely) is why they didn’t invite you. The answer? Communication. As cheesy as it may sound, honesty really is the best policy. What this doesn’t mean is that you should go up to your partner and demand to know why you weren’t invited, or word things in a way that makes it feel like you’re feeling super insecure or unhappy about them. What it does mean, though, is that you should find a way to express yourself that feels natural and open-minded. Try mentioning that you’re actually free that day/night and asking if you could come, or taking a lighthearted approach and joking, “so they didn’t give you a plus one?” Whatever you do, just stay true to yourself and remember to be calm and confident, no matter what the answer ends up being.
Holidays or not, dating can be difficult. With so many clichés out there surrounding the subject, what is one supposed to do? We think we can help you out, at least by breaking down some of those unhelpful clichés that you can learn to unlearn by clicking HERE.