5 Things You Should NEVER Say to Your Friend After a Breakup
It goes without saying that breaking up is hard to do—but it can also be challenging to support your friend who just went through a rough split.
Yes, Ben & Jerry's is always a good call, but sometimes your pal needs more than just Cherry Garcia and Totally Unbaked to navigate a particularly difficult breakup.
As a friend, it can be easy to want to find the perfect thing to say to make your BFF's pain go away. Unfortunately, there's really nothing one can say that's going to work quite as well as the healing power of time. One thing you can do, however, is avoid saying the wrong things, which may seem helpful but could ultimately make your friend's post-breakup process all the worse.
Below are some things to avoid saying the next time you're helping your friend heal from heartache.
1. 'I Always Hated Them, Anyway.'
Whether or not this is true, saying this to your friend will inevitably backfire. If it's not true, your friend probably will know it—and they won't trust you to be honest and kind with them when they need you to be most. And if it is true—well, unfortunately, not all breakups stick. Your friend will know that you don't support their relationship, making it unlikely for them to ever come to you about relationship drama again.
2. 'Maybe You'll Get Back Together!'
While there's certainly such thing as being too negative about your friend's former relationship, you also don't want to give your friend (potentially false) hope that they'll reunite with their ex. Your job isn't to put that kind of thought in their head—instead, it's to show support for them, exactly where they are right now.
3. 'You'll Find Someone New.'
Sure, it's helpful to know that this relationship isn't the end-all, be-all for their romantic life, but it's hard to jump into even thinking about a new relationship when you haven't had time to grieve the old one. Plus, hearing this from a friend dismisses the very real pain they're currently going through.
4. 'You're So Much Better Than Your Ex's New S.O.'
If your friend's ex has moved on faster than Taylor Swift puts out albums, then it might be tempting to build your friend up by comparing them to their former S.O.'s new person. The problem? It'll just encourage your friend to obsess over the new person rather than focus on healing from the split. The last thing you want your friend to do is to start comparing GPAs and summer vacations with the new person dating their former partner.
5. 'You Just Need to Get Back Out There.'
Instead of forcing your friend to get on a dating app (when they're still not ready to delete their ex off social media), encourage your pal to do the things that make them feel confident and good about themselves, sans who they're dating. Instead of pushing them to date if they're not ready, encourage them to take their favorite fitness classes, plan a movie trivia night, embark on a road trip—whatever it is that makes them feel most like themselves. At the end of the day, you're their friend because you like who they are—not who they are when they're in a couple.
Want to read more about breakups? Click HERE to read about why friend breakups are so hard.