You’re in a relationship and everything is smooth sailing… but there’s just one small problem: Your parents don’t approve of the person you’re dating.
There are a number of reasons this could be the case. You may have told your parents questionable things about your S.O. in the past; your parents may be overprotective; or they see red flags in your S.O. that you may be overlooking.
So, what are you supposed to do? Break up with your S.O., even though you’re happy? Or go against your parents’ wishes and stick it out with the person you’re dating?
“When you’re in your teens, you fire your parents as your ‘boss,’ and if they’re reasonable human beings, you rehire them as a ‘consultant,’ ” Family or Fiancés‘s relationship expert, Tracy McMillan, tells Sweety High. “I would say your parents can be great consultants for you. They generally mean well, they want what’s best for you, and you can take what they’re saying and ask yourself, ‘Is this true?'”
Even though you should take your parents’ opinion into consideration, Tracy doesn’t think it’s impossible that you’re in a healthy relationship with a potential future—it just depends on some factors.
“If you’ve grown up in a chaotic, troubled or dysfunctional family or household, you might find that being reflected in the relationships you choose, and then you might have to get on a journey where you slowly grow into choosing healthier relationships,” she suggests. “If you grew up with that kind of a childhood, or in that kind of home, it might feel weird to pick a calm, chill, regular [significant other]. That’ll be like, ho-hum. But I urge you to try it, because once you get passed the initial ‘This is weird,’ you might be able to build a real relationship there in a way you just can’t with [someone rebellious or chaotic].”
If you’re on the fence about the nature of your relationship and whether or not your parents are on to something, there are things to consider.
“Sometimes parents are bananas when it comes to their kids, and sometimes they’re rightly pointing things out that need to be pointed out,” Tracy says. “You think you’re going to grow up and it’s going to be your life someday, but, the truth is, it’s already your life. Your parents can make a lot of noise, but it’s still your life.”
At the end of the day, you and your S.O. are the only ones in your relationship, and only you truly know if it’s healthy and if you’re genuinely happy.
“Make good decisions for yourself,” Tracy says. “Because no matter what your parents are saying, deep down in you, you know the truth. You know it already, right now. So how honest can you be with yourself about whether something is good for you or not? And if you come to rely on that, that will never let you down.”
Still unsure about whether or not your parents are right? HERE are subtle signs your S.O. disrespects you.