What Is a ‘Training Wheel’ Relationship? Here’s What to Know About This Variation of Being the Third Wheel
By now, you've heard of third wheels in a relationship. Typically, a person becomes a third wheel when they're brought along on a date with a couple, getting left out and feeling unwanted in the process. But, have you heard of a "training wheel" relationship?
Being a "third wheel" refers to a bicycle, on which a third wheel would become unnecessary and probably even burdensome. Of course, on other vehicles, such as a tricycle, that extra wheel is essential to keeping stable. Without a third wheel—or training wheel—the whole thing becomes unbalanced and immediately falls over. Some relationships can come to work this way, too, relying on an outside party to keep going. Wondering if it's happening to you? Here's how to spot it.
You're Always in a Trio
When a couple rarely every hangs on their own, and almost always invites the third person to be there, that's a sure sign that final person is being treated as a training wheel. They've become essential to the success of the relationship, whether it's because this person keeps the peace when disagreements arise, or simply is able to keep the conversation flowing when the couple runs out of things to talk about. If they can't make it to the hangout for whatever reason, the date gets canceled entirely, and it's like everything is dependent on them. Maybe this person is a mutual friend, or introduced the two people who are dating. Regardless, they wind up carrying the weight of a relationship that doesn't feel like it's working, despite not even being in it.
(Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated via Cartoon Network)
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The Training Wheel Becomes an Involuntary Couple's Counselor
Typically, the training wheel isn't only there physically for the couple. They also wind up taking on a bit of an emotional load as well. In the cases, the couple often struggles to resolve any issues or disagreements on their own and instead winds up bringing in this third party as a mediator. They dump all of their problems on them, which can quickly becoming overwhelming. After all, this person isn't a professional therapist, and they're definitely not getting paid to be their counselor. It's easy for them to become resentful in this position, while not quite realizing why they're so exhausted and have stopped enjoying hanging out with their good friends.
One of the People in the Couple Becomes the Third Wheel Instead
In many training wheel relationships, the imbalance actually results in one of the partners in the couple becoming the odd one out, and thus, feeling like the third wheel. Even though the training wheel isn't dating either of them, it's as if these dates are with them, and inevitably, one of the partners winds up having way less fun. With the spotlight stolen from them, it's easy for jealousy to result. This can be isolating, and possibly worsened by situations you wouldn't expect—such as seating configurations in the car or at restaurants.
(The Kissing Booth 2 via Netflix)
Also read about: 5 Reasons Why Romance Might Make You Nervous
The Relationship Is Missing Something
In these training wheel situations, it's almost always the case that the relationship is missing some crucial factor. It might be something simple, like one of the partners is too anxious to come out of their shell and they're comforted by having a third person around. Perhaps they need a little help getting out of their comfort zone and opening up, or maybe they're just not compatible and they'd both rather be single in the first place. Whichever person you might be in this entanglement, it's important to speak your mind, discuss your true feelings and why someone is getting let out, and to work together on a solution from there.
Click HERE to discover how to make the most out of being a third wheel.