7 Things You Should Never Feel Obligated to Do in a Friendship
Whether you always lend a listening ear, or you never flake unless there's a serious reason, being a good friend is quite easy, but it does take making an effort.
That said, there are times when your effort can go too far. We often feel compelled to go that extra, unnecessary mile based on peer pressure. But guess what? Anyone who drives you to feel like you need to do things that don't feel right is definitely someone you shouldn't befriend.
(Mean Girls via Paramount Pictures)
Keep reading for seven things you should never feel obligated to do in a friendship:
1. Take the Blame for Someone
Of course you want to have a close friend's back, but not throwing them under the bus and being there for them when they get themselves into a sticky situation is different from taking responsibility for their actions. The minute you start covering up for their mistakes, you're only going to get yourself in trouble—and some of these holes you dig will be very difficult to get out of. It's best to stay neutral so that nothing comes back to haunt you.
2. Lie on Someone's Behalf
Going off of No. 1, you should never lie for someone. Anyone who expects you to do that is dragging you down with them. Basically, whatever they would be getting in trouble for will still happen—and you will be getting in just as much trouble. If they want to make excuses for their something they did wrong, leave that to them. You should never be responsible for someone else's mishaps.
3. Stay at a Party or a Hangout Where You Feel Unsafe or Uncomfortable
We get it, no one wants to be labeled a party-pooper, but if you're put in an uncomfortable situation, by all means, leave! If your friend chooses to stay and you fear she's in a truly bad situation, call for an adult's help. But regardless of what your friend chooses to do, you should never risk your safety or comfort for the sake of someone else. Whether it's because you're tired, you don't look your best or you're simply just over it, a real friend will respect your decision to leave and not make things awkward for you.
(Mean Girls via Paramount Pictures)
4. Let Someone Cheat Off You on a Test
Want to automatically fail a class or even get suspended from school? Hmm, try letting someone cheat off you and that should do the trick. You may think you're being super sluethy in your methods of allowing someone to cheat, but your teacher is no dummy. Don't risk your future for the sake of helping a friend who chose to be lazy and not study. Any friend who can't respect your decision to keep your test answers to yourself absolutely deserves to fail.
5. Take on Someone Else's Emotions
Qualities of a good friend are absolutely caring about someone's feelings and being there for them when they need someone to talk to, but you should never feel obligated to actually take on their emotions. Someone constantly complaining and putting their woes on you is draining. You are living your life. While certain situations may seem unfair to someone you're friends with, at the end of the day, you need to do you. If someone is putting too much on you and expecting you to feel their pain, take a step back.
(Riverdale via The CW)
6. Befriend Someone's Friend or S.O. Who You Know Is Toxic
They say if you can't beat 'em, join 'em, but we say nah. It certainly makes things easier to be cordial with everyone in life, but if you seriously can't stand someone (for legitimate reasons), never feel like it's your responsibility to befriend them just because someone you're friends with does. It doesn't mean you have to be mortal enemies with a toxic person or stir up drama, but if you know someone's bad, steer clear and only focus on your actual friendships.
7. Let Someone Borrow Anything From You
No one's telling you that you shouldn't let a friend borrow that cute pink top or that $5 for lunch money, but you should never feel like you must. Your belongings are your belongings, and getting into borrowing can be a tricky sitch. Someone may keep putting off paying you back or they may accidentally stain your fave outfit. Having to constantly pester people about things they owe you is not only a pain, but it puts strains on relationships. If you do feel like you trust someone with your belongings, fine—but just be mindful of who gets those privileges.
Has a one-time BFF taken things too far? HERE's how to handle your ex-bestie staying friends with your social circle.