Two Dating Experts Explain Why We Change Our Hair After a Breakup
All is well and good in your relationship until one day, you break-up.
Whether it came out of left field or you were the one who initiated the end, it's no easy feat. Emotions run high, skepticism arises and feelings of loneliness and betrayal spring to the surface. You want to prove to your ex that you're doing fine—in fact, you've never been better! Even if it's all a lie and something you try to prove in the hallways at school or on social media, you're committed to moving on.
One of the ways we tend to move on after a breakup is by changing up our hair game. You might chop off your locks or even dye your hair a crazy color, but have you ever wondered why it's one of the first changes we make after a split?
We asked two dating experts why we change our hair after a breakup, and this is what they had to say:
It's a Form of Control
In any relationship, regardless of how healthy or toxic it might have been, some control was handed over to your partner. For a period of time, this person was the center of your world, so it only makes sense they'd have control over you. We spoke with Chris Pleines, founder of the dating site, Dating Scout. Here's what he had to say about control:
"Regardless of who initiated it, the dull pain that comes with a breakup is something we can't stop. Because we can't dictate our feelings, we look for things we can control, and that, fortunately (or at times, unfortunately) is the way we look. In the course of the relationship, we may have worn our hair the same way. Getting a haircut not only dramatically upgrades your look, but it's also you reinventing your identity and priorities."
It Heightens Confidence
When you're going through a breakup, you're bound to lack confidence. You might worry about never finding another partner, or even feel down in the dumps. Whatever the case, your confidence is likely at an all-time low. Changing up your physical appearance is just one way you're attempting to make yourself feel better. April Davis, founder of LUMA, a luxury matchmaking service, shared her insight:
"Someone might change their hair to try something new. It's their way of taking back confidence that might have been temporarily misplaced during the breakup stage."
It's an Expression of Freedom
What better time than after a breakup to find new ways to express yourself? You're no longer attached to someone romantically and might be experiencing the single life for the first time in a while. Cutting or coloring your hair is one way of many to express that freedom. This is what Chris had to say about freedom after a split:
"Cutting your hair helps you take some of that freedom back. It makes you realize that your body belongs to you even if you've shared some part of it with someone else. It symbolizes that you can cut it off any time you want, and the idea that it's going to grow back after you cut it comforts you. Aside from getting a haircut, the color can also be a representation of what the person feels. Intense colors can be associated with strong emotions, while near to natural hair colors can be a sign of more subtle feelings."
It Represents an 'Out With the Old' Mentality
After parting ways with your ex, you're saying goodbye to someone who was once a huge part of your life. They were probably the person you went to bed thinking about, and the one who you could always count on. But what happens once they're gone? You start to build new relationships and likely have a fresh day-to-day schedule. By changing your hair, you're leaving the old (your ex) behind and bringing in the new (single life). April had some thoughts on this, too:
"After a breakup, there's usually a big shift in your everyday life. To match all these changes and officially cut all ties from your previous life, you might find yourself wanting to start afresh with your look as well. One of the easiest way to switch up your look is by changing your hair. It's a metaphorical way of shedding your skin and coming into your own, while leaving the past where it belongs—in the past."
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