Why You Don't Need to Define the Relationship Before Valentine's Day

Valentine's season can be a confusing time if you're in an undefined relationship.

When everyone around you is celebrating the romantic holiday with their significant others, you might feel pressured to move your own situation from undefined to official. But just because it's almost Feb. 14 doesn't mean you should rush things and declare where you and your kind-of-partner stand.

Here are all the reasons you shouldn't feel the need to define the relationship before Valentine's Day.

It's an Arbitrary Date

Some people might treat Feb. 14 like the most significant holiday of the year, but that doesn't mean you have to. Valentine's Day traditions are very rigid, celebrating just one kind of romantic love, and if you're not there yet, don't sweat it. If you're not in the right headspace, you're allowed to treat it just like any other day of the year. There's no due date for figuring out how you feel and expressing yourself, so don't force anything just because it's supposedly a "special" day.


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Nothing Needs to Change Until You're Both Ready

Sometimes, figuring out what you really want out of a relationship can be a process that times time. You shouldn't make things official because you just think that's what comes next, and you definitely shouldn't do it because it's a holiday that focuses on relationships. If you're not ready now, nothing is suddenly going to change when Feb. 14 rolls around, and the same goes for the person you're with. When the time is right, the conversation will arise naturally—not because you should be celebrating together.


You Shouldn't Let Outside Forces Pressure You

No one should decide when you and the person you're dating DTR except the two of you. No amount of questions or prodding from family or friends will move your relationship on any faster than it's already going, and the same goes for a random holiday. In fact, the more pressure that's put on the both of you, the more hesitant you may feel to fully define the relationship. Let your own development together (or lack thereof) drive what happens next.


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You Might Not Even Want a Relationship

As much as you might be in the mood for a lovey-dovey Valentine's Day, you shouldn't turn what you have into a relationship-relationship unless that's what you really want in the long-term. You shouldn't move into something that isn't right for you because you think it'd be nice to get a card, a box of chocolates and a night out on Valentine's Day. Understand what you want and what you need, before bringing it up to the person you're seeing. You might find out that they want the exact same thing,


If you found this helpful, click HERE to find out how to explain an undefined relationship to your parents.