5 Reasons Why You Should NEVER Have Friendship Rules

At this point, we're all pretty well-versed on The Kissing Booth

In case you've haven't heard of it, it's a Netflix original movie following the adventures of Elle as she falls for her BFF's older brother, breaking one of the cardinal rules of their friendship.

Objectively, it's a pretty terrible movie, but it's also entertaining and slightly heartwarming to watch. Still, there are definitely some issues with this film, one of which being that Elle and her BFF, Lee, have a strict set of rules that guide their friendship, which we just can't get on board with.

Why, you ask, do these guidelines upset us so much? Keep scrolling to find out why you should never have friendship rules.

1. It's Unrealistic

Listen, guys—people are only human. And as flawed beings, we're all bound to make some mistakes. Assuming that you can create a set of guidelines that can help you to build the perfect friendship is just plain unrealistic. No one is going to be able to perfectly align with those rules every second of every day. You're setting yourself up for failure because at one point either you or your BFF are going to break a rule, resulting in an argument and the potential end of your friendship. It's not realistic to base a relationship off of a particular standard of behavior—you're just going to end up disappointed.

Elle and Lee on their first day of school in The Kissing Booth

(The Kissing Booth via Netflix)


2. It's Demanding

Besides the fact that friendship rules are just unrealistic, it's also incredibly demanding to think that you can control your BFF's behavior. People are allowed to live their own lives—being someone's best friend doesn't give you a right to dictate what they can and can't do. Forcing someone to act a certain way in the name of friendship is not the formula for a healthy relationship, it's just controlling and a little ridiculous.


3. It's Too Much Pressure

Can any of you imagine how stressful it must be to spend all your time with your BFF making sure that you're not breaking any friendship rules? That's such a ridiculous amount of pressure to put on someone. Imagine knowing that you have to act a certain way or your BFF might decide that your relationship just isn't worth it. Friendship rules put a ridiculous amount of pressure on both parties involved, which takes the fun right out of simply enjoying time with your bestie.


4. It's a Strain on Your Relationship

With all the intense pressure that comes along with friendship rules, they are absolutely going to strain your relationship. How could they not, when you and your pal are constantly living your life in fear of overstepping your bounds? Friendship rules create a scenario where both you and your BFF are always thinking of what the other person might do wrong, instead of simply appreciating each other for who you are. A relationship guided by rules is inherently stressful, and all that tension is going to come out eventually, probably in a pretty negative way.

The Kissing Booth: Elle and Lee giving a speech

(The Kissing Booth via Netflix)


5. It Devalues Your Friendship

Friendship is supposed to be based on a mutual love, support and appreciation for another person, despite the fact that they're not always perfect. When you create a friendship based on a set of specific rules, you reduce that awesome relationship to a simple back-and-forth based on how well another person can fulfill the requirements you've laid out. A friendship based on rules isn't a genuine friendship—it's more like a business agreement or a contract. Don't let your friendship turn into a requirement—instead, find people who adore you no matter what, even when you're not the textbook definition of a perfect friend.


While we weren't crazy about Elle and Lee's friendship, we absolutely hated Elle and Noah's relationship. Click HERE for six reasons Elle and Noah from The Kissing Booth should not have ended up together.