My BFF Left Me for a New Group of Friends, and Here's What I Learned

When I was a freshman in high school, things were a little rocky for me. I was a transplant from another school district and didn't really know that many people at my new high school.

Girl reading by herself outside
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Even though this was the case, I felt pretty lucky to have my best friend Sarah* by my side. We came from the same middle school and hometown so I knew that no matter what happened, we would always be okay because we had each other. That was, until she found a new group of friends.

When Things Began to Change

We got through the first semester of high school totally fine. We made new friends, but still did everything together. We had the best Friday night sleepovers, went to all the football games and ate our weight in pizza on the regular. We pretty much vowed we would be best friends forever.

Going into sophomore year, things started to get weird. Sarah started dating a boy I really didn't like, she joined the soccer team and she was slowly drifting away from our little group of friends we'd come to love and share.

I wanted to support her love of sports (we'd both played soccer for years), but when I realized that she was hanging out with the team more and with me and our other friends way less, I started to feel really abandoned. Soon, she started talking, acting and dressing differently and I knew she'd changed.

Our other friends were just as confused as I was. We didn't feel complete without Sarah, but it seemed like she wanted to spend more time with the team than with any of us.

Soccer field with net

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One day, I texted Sarah to ask what time I should come over for our Friday night sleepover. Her response was, "Sorry, can't do tonight, the team and I have a game, then we're going out for pizza!" That text felt like a slap in the face. Of course I wanted her to have a good time with her new teammates, but I couldn't help but feel hurt and confused. Friday nights were our thing and it felt like that no longer even mattered to her.

I didn't know how to approach Sarah about this because I was scared she would be angry or upset with me and would abandon our friendship altogether.

Slowly, we drifted apart. She'd found her new place on the team and our group of friends moved on without her as the year went by, but I still held on to the hope that she would magically come back.

After months of unanswered texts and quickly looking away from each other in the halls at school, I was forced to accept that our tight friendship had come to an end. By junior year, we barely even knew each other anymore. It felt so strange having someone go from your BFF to whom you tell everything, to someone you awkwardly smile at in the hall occasionally.

What I Learned

For a long time, I was just confused. What went wrong? Did I do something to make her leave our group of friends? As much as it hurt when Sarah found a new group of friends, it actually turned out to be a really great lesson for me. If you're not honest with your friends about how you're feeling, then there's no chance that you can fix it.

After my BFF break up with Sarah, I realized how important it is to talk to your friends. If you take the time to have those hard and sometimes-awkward conversations, they can really strengthen your friendship. As hard as it is to speak up sometimes, it's important to put your feelings out there.

Two girls having a conversation

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It's sad to lose a close friend, but it also made me realize that true friends will always find a way to work it out. It was hard feeling like Sarah moved on from the friendship before I did, but people change.

Now, I always operate under a policy of honesty with my BFFs and we're better because of it. Relationships don't always go as you planned—whether it's with a boy, your friends or anyone for that matter, but you'd be surprised how well things can go when you're simply honest and put your feelings out there to be heard.

You'll feel a heck of a lot better afterwards, too.

*Name has been changed.


If you relate to this story, you'll want to click HERE to read what Brittney went through when she was ghosted by her best friend.