7 Reasons Why Breakups Are Actually Good For You

Let's be honest: breakups suck.

Whether good, bad, or ugly, the end of a significant relationship is always difficult to come to terms with. In the moment, it's easy to get stuck in a cycle of pity and hopelessness, but breakups can actually be a very positive thing.

Smiling Girl in a Field

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I know, I know. The last thing anyone wants to hear while they're trying to pull themselves out of a breakup slump is any variation of "everything happens for a reason." But, having lived through a few tough breakups myself, I can confidently say that every breakup cloud has a silver lining.

So ditch that tissue box and scroll below for seven reasons why breakups are actually good for you.

1. You Learn What You Don't Want in a Relationship

No matter how perfect you assumed your relationship was, a breakup is always a good reality check. Stepping away from the relationship allows you to see the full picture, and to pick out the not-so-great details about your ex. Whether it's stronger texting skills, improved listening skills, or just someone who's overall better, you'll walk away with an enhanced understanding of what you're looking for in the future.

Girl Pulling on Her Braids

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2. You Learn to Depend on Yourself, Not Someone Else

Half the fun of being in a relationship is having someone to rely on for life's everyday inconveniences. While having someone to support you is nice, it's also important to learn how to stand on your own. Breakups are a lot like being thrown into the deep-end when it comes to learning independence, but you'll emerge much more capable of handling your own problems. As an added bonus, that new level of independence will only make your future relationships stronger!


3. You Realize Who Truly Has Your Back

Breakups are often messy, and the days following the split are usually characterized by many tears and a desperate desire to talk about your situation to anyone who will listen. The sad truth is, most people just aren't going to care. But thankfully, the period of time that you're a blubbering mess is also the time that you realize who is truly there for you. Your true friends will sit with you while you cry, make sure you have plenty of ice cream in your system and monitor your interactions to make sure you don't do something you regret. You may have lost someone important to you, but it brings into focus all the other people who truly have your back.

Four Friends in a Greenhouse

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4. You Get Your Social Life Back

In addition to realizing who your true friends are, a breakup also means that you get to spend more time with those people. No matter how much you try to split your time evenly, being in a relationship chips away at your social calendar. But following a breakup, you no longer have to commit a chunk of your time to another person, leaving you free to strengthen your important relationships with your friends. At the end of the day, friends are the people who will support you no matter what, and more time to spend with them is never a bad thing.


5. You Develop a Greater Sense of Self-Worth

An important part of any breakup cycle is the moment you realize that the person who let you go is just a total idiot. I mean really, that's the only explanation for letting such a fantastic, kind and caring person slip away. While your ego may take a hit to begin with, breakups help you reflect on all the positive qualities you have to offer. Just because one person didn't realize your worth doesn't mean that someone else won't.

Smiling Girl with Two Buns

(via Unsplash)


6. You Can Focus on Yourself

A necessary element of being in a relationship is committing half of your time and energy to another person. During a breakup, however, the resources that you've been giving away can now be used to focus on yourself. A breakup is one of the best times to focus on self-empowerment and self-improvement, and picking up a new hobby or reflecting on all your likes and dislikes is the perfect way to get to know yourself better. When you have a good grasp on who you are, you will be much more equipped to build strong relationships in the future. 


7. You Get To Do the Fun Part Again

While there's a lot to be said for becoming comfortable and relaxed with another person, the excitement and exhilaration that marks the start of a new romance is hard to beat. Losing someone is never fun, but it does open you up to a new relationship in the future, filled with its own set of butterflies, first kisses and other magical moments. A breakup is the end of one relationship, but it leaves you with an entire world of possibilities for a new love! 


Think you're ready to start dating again? First, take a look at THESE five signs that you're not over your ex.