I never knew that lending my leather jacket to a friend could get so complicated.

For some background info, I loaned my favorite leather jacket (a beloved birthday present from my parents from a few years ago) to a good friend who wanted to borrow it for a concert. I was under the impression that she wanted the jacket for that one occasion and would return it promptly thereafter, but it ended up taking nearly two months for me to get it back.

Scroll down to read how I got my jacket back—two months after a friend borrowed it.

The Initial Ask

The Monday following the concert, I kindly reminded my friend about the borrowed jacket, and asked her to get it back to me at her earliest convenience. At this point, my friend didn’t indicate she wasn’t planning to return the jacket in a timely manner, and I didn’t have any reason to think I wouldn’t get it back promptly. In other words, I really didn’t think anything of it. Boy was I wrong.


Frequent Reminders

Once it became clear that my jacket wouldn’t soon be back in my closet, I began to drop frequent reminders about my MIA item of clothing. I didn’t say or do anything too confrontational, because it felt like my friend was just being forgetful and not purposely avoiding the issue—but I did want her to know that I was growing impatient, and was eager to have the jacket back in my possession. I said things like, “It would be great if you could have my jacket back to me by the end of the week,” or, “Let me know if you want me to come by and pick up my jacket.” I figured it got my point across without being too upfront, but as it turns out, it didn’t get the job done.

(via Unsplash)


My Reminders Got a Bit More Pointed

When, weeks later, I still had no jacket, I felt my frustration mounting and knew I needed to up my game if I ever wanted to see my jacket again. Still looking to avoid an outright confrontation, I got a bit more pointed in my demands. When I was with my friend once on a slightly chilly day, I said, “It would be really great if I had my leather jacket for a day like this.” My friend definitely caught on in the moment, which I appreciated, though I felt a little uncomfortable about my petty quip.


The Conversation

Despite the fact that my friend clearly registered my frustration when I made my cold weather quip, she clearly quickly forgot about it and my jacket in general. That’s when I decided it was time for us to sit down face-to-face and discuss it. To be honest, I probably should have reached this conclusion a tad earlier, but I was holding out hope that we could avoid a formal confrontation. Even though it was a bit awkward to ask my friend for my jacket back in a direct and concise manner, it worked like a charm.

Alison talking to Hannah in a flashback scene on Pretty Little Liars

(Pretty Little Liars via Freeform)


The Exchange

Two days after I confronted my friend and said, “I really need my jacket back for an event this weekend. Can you bring it to me on Friday?” It was, once again, in my possession. My friend actually apologized for taking too long to return it, and I opted not to focus on the negative and just went ahead and thanked her for giving it back. I’ll definitely think twice before loaning something to this friend again, but I’m glad everything ended well!


For more friend-related advice, click HERE for advice on what to do when a friend borrows something and loses it.