How to Deal With an S.O. Who Overshares About Your Relationship
Being in a relationship has so many perks: you have someone to do activities with, make memories with, a shoulder to cry on and someone you can discuss your personal trials and tribulations with. But what if you have a S.O. that keeps oversharing about your relationship?
While it's good to make others feel included in your lives, there are some things you just don't share: arguments, details of hooking up, insecurities or embarrassments, or things you've shared with them in confidence… to name a few. If you feel that your S.O. keeps sharing everything and then some, here's how to deal.
Confront Them
It's always good to give them the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps they don't even know they're oversharing? Your best bet is to confront them softly but with examples so they understand what's bothering you. Try not to make them feel defensive by approaching the situation in a way that's more about keeping things sacred between you two and less about hounding them for things they've already shared.
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Cut Them Off Nicely
For the innocent oversharer, sometimes all they need is a good nudge in public. The next time they start oversharing, nicely but sternly cut them off— even if it feels rude. You can say something to them like, "not right now" or "that's private." Chances are, they'll get the hint real quick. Of course, you'll want to have a follow-up chat to let them know why you did that and what you don't want them sharing with the rest of the squad.
Tell Them How It Makes You Feel
Embarrassed. Disappointed. Humiliated. Those are some words that have a lot of weight, and if they still haven't gotten the hint that they're losing your trust, words, like the aforementioned ones, should work. If you're S.O. is oversharing at your expense and you're really getting hurt or embarrassed by their words, it's time to really let them know that it's bothering you.
Have a Friend Step In
Sometimes, we need to hear things from people outside of your relationship in order for them to sink in. If you've already confronted your S.O. about the issue but they keep at it, having a close friend or even sibling step in who you both trust and get along with could be a great option. When it comes from someone neutral it can be easier to see their point of view and, in turn, benefit everyone.
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Threaten a Break or a Break-Up
If nothing seems to work, this might not be the relationship for you. The whole point of a relationship is to build a trusting bond with that person and that person alone, and it seems like you're S.O. doesn't understand that, isn't ready for a relationship or isn't that committed to you. As much as it sucks to break-up you'll be better off in the long run.'
Another form of oversharing? Social media. HERE'S how to deal with a friend who's obsessed with the 'gram.