6 Reasons Lara Jean and Peter Kavinsky Are Better Than Elle and Noah

Netflix has really been stepping up their movie game lately.

In the past few months, we've been blessed with two teen rom-coms that have touched hearts and souls around the world: The Kissing Booth and To All the Boys I've Loved Before. 

While I can totally admit that each movie is special in their own way and brings something unique to the table, I can't help but compare these two stories. And in my comparison I've come to a potentially unpopular conclusion: Lara Jean and Peter Kavinsky are infinitely better than Elle and Noah.

Don't worry, I can back up my claims. Keep scrolling to see why I'm Team Lara Jean and Peter for life.

1. Peter Isn't Controlling

Let's start with an easy one—Noah is one of the most incredibly controlling love interests I've ever seen in any movie. He's constantly telling Elle how she should behave, who she can date and what she should be able to do with her own body. Since he has feelings for her, he decides that he owns everything she says and does, and Elle is basically just along for the ride.

On the opposite end of Noah, we have dear, sweet, angelic Peter, who doesn't even show a hint of controlling behavior. In his interactions with both Lara Jean and Gen, who are very different people, he gives them total space to be themselves, despite the fact that he doesn't always agree with what they're doing. He never acts as if being in a relationship or having feelings for these women gives him ownership over them, but instead works to understand and appreciate their boundaries. Point one for Peter.

Peter spins Lara Jean in the cafeteria

(To All the Boys I've Loved Before via Netflix)

2. Peter Doesn't Have Anger Issues

In addition to his problematic controlling behavior with Elle, Noah is also riddled with anger issues. The kid gets in fights right and left for the most ridiculous reasons. Because why would you simply use your words to explain your viewpoint when you could punch someone in the face and cause them physical harm, right Noah? Noah's aggression, regardless of the fact that it was never directed at Elle (yet), is incredibly scary to watch. Someone with those kinds of anger issues needs serious help, not a girlfriend who will temporarily smooth away his problems.

Again, we flip to baby face Peter, who barely has an angry bone in his body. Peter is incredibly chill and suave, always looking on the bright-side of things and rarely even showing frustration or annoyance. The only person he gets angry at the whole movie is Josh, and even then he is far from resorting to physical violence to explain his irritation. Peter can be trusted to not fly off the handle at the slightest provocation, which means he racks up another point in my book.

The Kissing Booth: Noah and Elle get caught by Lee

(The Kissing Booth via Netflix)

3. Peter and Lara Jean Aren't Betraying Anyone By Dating

The entire plot of The Kissing Booth centers around the fact that Elle and Noah are betraying Lee—Elle'best friend and Noah'brother—by dating. I get having feelings for someone and I understand how strong those emotions can be, but are they really worth breaking a promise to one of the most important people in your life, especially when you're not even sure if this relationship will work out? In my opinion, no.

That's exactly why I love Lara Jean and Peter so much. Their relationship might start with a lie, considering they're not technically "dating," but they're not betraying anyone in their life by participating in a relationship. In fact, Lara Jean agrees to a relationship with Peter in order to preserve her strong bond with her sister, since it would be really painful for Margot to learn about Lara Jean's feelings for Josh. Instead of stabbing someone she cares about in the back, Lara Jean dates Peter to sustain her important relationships, which is unarguably a better scenario than Elle and Noah's outright betrayal.

Peter changes his phone background to lara Jean

(To All the Boys I've Loved Before via Netflix)

4. Peter Cares About Lara Jean's Opinions

Perhaps the most frustrating part of The Kissing Booth for me was Noah's total lack of care for anything Elle thought. Every time she stands up for herself or tries to make her opinion known, he flashes her a smile and laughs off what she's saying, clearly showing that he doesn't put any real value into her viewpoint. Noah doesn't care about what Elle thinks because he only cares about what he wants. He decides no one should date her, no one should look at her, no one should flirt with her, and if she thinks differently, so what? He's in charge here and he makes that known.

On the other hand, Peter does care about what Lara Jean thinks. He talks to her about what she wants and why she's stayed away from dating, instead of making her feel ridiculous for never having had a boyfriend. Beyond genuinely caring about her feelings, he also listens to her needs and respects her boundaries. Perfect example: She says no kissing, so he doesn't kiss her. While it's literally just a base requirement for a healthy relationship, Peter listens to Lara Jean where Noah doesn't, clearly establishing the To All the Boys duo as a superior coupling.

Lara Jean and Peter laying on the floor in her room in To All the Boys I've Loved Before

(To All the Boys I've Loved Before via Netflix)

5. Lara Jean's Family and Friends Support Her Relationship With Peter

While having your friends and family support your romance isn't necessarily a requirement, it certainly helps. Not only do Elle and Noah betray Lee by dating, but there's also no one else in the film who supports their romance. Most importantly, Elle's dad isn't on board, which is a major red flag that shouldn't be ignored. Oftentimes if people close to you don't support your relationship, it's because they see something in your S.O. that you might not. When you're blinded by your feelings, it's easy to miss massive red flags, which is why you should at least take other people's opinions into account.

On the other hand, literally everyone is on board with Lara Jean and Peter's relationship. Peter's mother very clearly likes Lara Jean, and Lara Jean's whole family is thrilled at the fact that she's dating Peter. After all, Kitty basically set them up. But the real difference here is that Lara Jean and Peter's families are on board because they made the effort to get them on board. Peter was fake dating Lara jean for .5 seconds and he immediately made a concentrated effort to earn Kitty's respect. Instead of blowing off every other important person in their life like Elle and Noah, Peter and Lara Jean really care about building a functional relationship that includes their most valued human connections. Aka Lara Jean and Peter win again.

The Kissing Booth: Elle and Noah's first kiss

(The Kissing Booth via Netflix)

6. Peter and Lara Jean's Relationship Is Based on Respect

The nail in the coffin that truly cements Elle and Noah as a disastrous couple is that their relationship simply isn't founded on respect. It relies on attraction and an intense "feeling" for each other, but not on a genuine appreciation for who the other person is. Elle has plenty of problems with Noah's past and the way he handles himself publicly, showing that she doesn't really admire his decisions, and we've already covered how Noah steamrolls all of Elle's opinions and thoughts, showing that he clearly doesn't respect her, either.

On the other hand, Peter and Lara Jean create a relationship that's fully founded on respect for each other. They're honest and open with each other, they create a space where they can both freely share their feelings and they set boundaries that are strictly observed. Their relationship is founded on a true understanding of who the other person is, rather than a rocky emotional commitment. Suffice to say, mutual respect is the only way to have a long-lasting and healthy relationship, and I would take that over an intense and oftentimes destructive attraction any day.

To All the Boys I've Loved Before: Peter and Lara Jean ending scene

(To All the Boys I've Loved Before via Netflix)



Obviously we have some deep feelings for Peter. If you want to know more about our obsession, click HERE for four major reasons we all need a boyfriend like Peter Kavinsky.