6 Signs Your Crush Is Emotionally Unavailable

A successful relationship requires two people who are totally committed to making things work.

Unfortunately the people we're drawn to aren't always open to the vulnerability that's required to create a healthy partnership. Even if you think you and your crush are perfect for one another, things are never going to go anywhere if they can't put emotional energy into your relationship.

Before you dive into a relationship with your crush, you have to make sure they're emotionally available. Keep scrolling for six signs they aren't.

They're Constantly Creating Distance

Distancing strategies are a common tactic of emotionally unavailable people. Basically, it's the person's attempt to avoid closeness with a potential partner by always keeping them at arm's length. This can include not responding to text messages, keeping you separate from their friends and family, refusing PDA, ensuring that you don't spend too much time together and a whole range of other behaviors that successfully keep you from ever becoming too close. If you find that your crush is constantly pushing you away in one form or another, it maybe be because they're emotionally unavailable and therefore incapable of pursuing a relationship in earnest.

Zoey Staring at her Phone Grown-ish

(Black-ish via Freeform)


You Can't Read Them

Do you find that you struggle to understand how your crush is feeling? Anger, sadness, happiness, excitement—every emotion seems to look the exact same on your potential new love interest. While it may be mysterious and intriguing from an outside point of view, it can actually be a pretty clear signal of their emotional unavailability. People who struggle to express their emotions often struggle to understand their emotions. They're not keeping things inside because they're good at managing how they feel. Instead, they genuinely don't know how to process their feelings in a healthy way, which is not a good indication of healthy emotional involvement in a relationship.


They're Self-Centered

A partner who's self-centered should always be a red flag, but it can also be a sign of emotional unavailability. In particular, you should be on the lookout for behavior from your crush that suggests they're unwilling to compromise. People who refuse to see value in other people's perspectives are often too caught up in their own mind to effectively care about other humans, much less a romantic relationship. Not only is it frustrating to pair up with a partner who can't compromise, it's also indicative of their inability to put in the necessary work to maintain a healthy, committed relationship.

New Girl: Cece and Schmidt fighting

(New Girl via FOX)


They Have Unrealistic Relationship Expectations

Partners who are emotionally unavailable will often use their "high standards" as a reasoning for why their past relationships failed. In reality, their high standards are often just unrealistic expectations for relationships. If your crush points to the tiniest flaws as their reasoning for ending prior romances, you should probably move on to a new love interest. People who nitpick their relationships are often looking for a reason to leave, as imperfection gives them a valid excuse to avoid intimacy. Not only is it a sign that they're emotionally unavailable, it's also just too much pressure to live up to their impossible expectations.


They Run Hot and Cold

A crush who is emotionally unavailable will often run hot and cold, which may be part of the reason why you stick around so long. One day they'll be sweet, funny and charming, and the next they'll be cold and aloof. Their up and down behavior is often the result of their fear over genuinely bonding with another person. They crave closeness, but they're unable to truly pursue it, which leads to a lot of back and forth in their relationships. It may seem easy to cling to the good times and convince yourself that the bad times will change, but in reality a hot and cold crush is probably incapable of building a truly healthy relationship.

the kissing booth: elle and noah saying goodbye at the airport

(The Kissing Booth via Netflix)


They Make Excuses

If your crush is emotionally unavailable, there will always be a reason why they can't seem to bond with other people. Maybe other people try to rush into relationships too fast. Maybe they're too busy at the time to focus on building a healthy romance. Whatever the reason may be, they always have a way to deflect the blame and point to someone else for the problems in their interpersonal relationships. While their excuses may sound convincing, you have to look at the facts. If your crush struggles to effectively bond with anyone in their life, there's one common denominator in those situations: them. Excuses can only get you so far before you have to accept that they just might not be emotionally available to have a healthy relationship.


Looking for more dating advice? Click HERE for early signs your relationship isn't meant to be.