7 Signs You're Settling in Your Relationship

It's a common phrase used in regards to dating—never settle for less than you deserve.

Unfortunately, that's often easier said than done. People get lonely, and suddenly the prospect of having someone, even if it's someone you only feel lukewarm about, feels more desirable than having no one at all.

Since emotions are complicated, it can sometimes be hard to determine if your feelings for the person you're with are as strong as they should be. That's where we come in. Keep scrolling for seven signs you're settling in your relationship.

You're Constantly Justifying Your Relationship

If you're truly happy in your relationship, you shouldn't need to explain why you're with someone. When things are good, you'll know you're making the right decision, so you won't need to convince yourself or others that your partner is worthwhile. If you find that you're constantly justifying your relationship, both in your own head and out loud, you're probably settling for a romance with someone you're just not that into.

Nancy and Jonathan Reading a Book

(Stranger Things via Netflix)

 

You Have a Wandering Eye

One of the biggest signs you're settling for someone? You're often thinking about other people. You find yourself constantly developing crushes and practicing innocent flirting. Plus, you wonder what things would be like if you weren'with your partner, and whether the single life would treat you better this time around. When you're really committed to someone emotionally, you won't wonder about other people. If your wandering eye continually gets the best of you, you've likely settled into a relationship that you're just not that into.

 

You Adopt an 'It's Not That Bad' Mentality

The problem with settling in a relationship revolves around the fact that your partner is often pretty great. They're kind and affectionate, but there's just something missing. Unfortunately, no reason to leave also isn't a good reason to stay. Claiming that your relationship isn't that bad doesn't mean it's right for you, or even worthwhile. They can be the perfect person, and still not be the perfect person for you. If you've adopted an "it's not that bad" mentality, chances are your feelings for your partner aren't nearly as deep as they should be.

Aria talking to Ezra after class on Pretty Little Liars

(Pretty Little Liars via Freeform)

 

You're Afraid of Being Alone

Unfortunately, settling in a relationship often has very little to do with your partner and everything to do with you. Oftentimes, people settle because it seems preferable to being alone. However, if you're not comfortable spending time with yourself, you'll never find the kind of relationship you're searching for. Committing to someone because you don't want to feel lonely is never a good enough reason. It's unfair to yourself, and it's deeply unfair to your partner.

 

You Don't Think You Can Do Better

Beyond being scared of being alone, there are also other ways that you can be dissatisfied with yourself that might lead you to a commit to a relationship you're not that interested in. If you're not comfortable and happy with the person you are, you'll happily settle for anyone who gives you even a dose of affection because you'll convince yourself that you won't do any better. Low self-esteem and a negative opinion of who you are are a primary cause of settling in a relationship. You have to be happy with yourself before you can commit to anyone else, otherwise you'll likely end up in a string of relationships that don't make you anywhere near as happy as you should be.

gilmore girls - rory resting her head on dean's shoulder

(Gilmore Girls via The CW)

 

You Change for Them

Relationships are about two people coming together and accepting each other for who they are. Compromise and adjustment are necessary, but who you are at your core should always be respected. If you feel like you have to change valuable parts of yourself in order to make your relationship work, it's not a good match. It shows that you and your partner aren't that compatible, and that it's a pretty clear sign that you're settling. Find someone who accepts who you are, not someone who you've deemed "good enough" to change for.

 

You're Constantly Comparing Your Relationship to Others

As much as we like to thrust our expectations onto other people's romances, no two relationships are the same. Instead of meeting certain outside criteria, it's most important that you feel good about your relationship. And if you don't, you're probably settling. Repeatedly comparing your relationship to those of your friends and family members is already a bad sign, but it's particularly troublesome if you often feel like your own romance comes up short. It's a sign that your partner isn't meeting certain needs, which means they're just not the right person for you.

 

Looking for more dating advice? Click HERE for 6 signs you're more invested in your relationship than your S.O.