What to Do When Something Just Feels Off In Your Relationship
Even though there's a lot that goes into relationships, sometimes sorting through the muddled mess of romance simply means trusting your gut.
Of course, you have to be somewhat rational when choosing a significant other. Otherwise, you'll end up in romances that are high in passion, but low in the actual value they bring to your life. However, listening to where your heart is leading you is equally as important as following your logic.
So what if your gut is telling you that your romance isn't as picture-perfect as it should be? Keep scrolling for our tips on what to do when something just feels off in your relationship.
Search for the Source
When it comes to our emotions, we tend to throw everything under one big umbrella: "I feel angry," "I feel anxious," "I feel sad." While it's good to identify emotions, it's only one step of the process. Searching for the source behind your feelings allows you to genuinely deal with them. In fact, upon further examination, you might even find that your emotions are different than you originally thought.
Instead of just living in the idea that things don't feel right, ask yourself why they don't feel right. Is your S.O. treating your poorly? Do you feel ignored or neglected? Or is something else taking up your mental energy and you're simply transferring your stress onto your relationship? All of these and more are distinct possibilities, but you won't be able to identify what's causing your "off" feeling if you don't do a little digging into your emotions.
((500) Days of Summer via Fox Searchlight Pictures)
Determine If a Solution Is Available
Once you've identified the source of your problem, you can begin searching for ways to fix it. However, it's important to remember that there might not be a solution to your issue. If you're frustrated because you and your S.O. aren't spending enough quality time together, one solution is to sit them down and request that you set one night a week aside to spend together.
If, however, you're feeling hopeless about your relationship because you don't feel that you can't trust your partner, there might not be a way to "fix" that. Some feelings are here to stay, meaning there isn't anything you can do to really remedy the problem. If you see a solution in front of you, try to work your way towards it. If not, it might be a sign that your relationship is past saving.
Decide If You Want to Stay in the Relationship
Realizing that there's a solution available to you and deciding to pursue that solution are two very different things. While you might cognitively understand that there's a way to fix your problem, it's also important to examine whether you really want to improve your relationship. Sometimes that "off" feeling is simply a sign that you're ready to move on. If you do decide to end your romance, it's important to remember that you shouldn't feel guilty or ashamed. Not all relationships are supposed to last, and discovering that you weren't as committed to this one romance only pushes you further down the path of improving and strengthening your partnerships in the future.
(Riverdale via The CW)
Give Yourself Room to Follow Your Feelings
As human beings, we naturally find it very difficult to trust our gut feelings. Most of us search for reasons and answers to back up our emotions. Therefore, something just feeling "off" doesn't feel like a good enough reason to make some life-altering changes to your relationship. But here's the thing: it is.
Emotions don't just appear without prompting. If something feels off, it's because something is off, even if you haven't yet found the source. You need to give yourself room to follow your feelings, even if you don't have the logic to back it up. You alone are responsible for your own thoughts and emotions, so be sure to give yourself the mental and emotional space to stick up for your feelings, even if it requires making some hard decisions.
Have an Honest Conversation
Being in a healthy relationship means that you should be able to come to your partner with your thoughts and feelings. If something feels off and you can't seem to figure out why, it's probably worth telling your S.O. that you feel like your relationship is in a strange place. Odds are it'll be an uncomfortable and emotional conversation, but that might be exactly what you need to figure out what's going on. At most, they might have some insight into your feelings and how you both might be able to work together to fix it.
At the very least, you'll be practicing open communication, which is an important skill to foster in any relationship.
Looking for more dating advice? Click HERE for everything you should feel in a good relationship.