Stephanie Daily of Self Care Every Damn Day Breaks Down Dating Advice
When it comes to dating, most of us don't really know what we're doing.
We follow our instincts and hope the other person likes us back. But what about when you don't know if they're into you? Have you ever wondered if you should kiss someone on a first date? Stephanie Daily of Self Care Every Damn Day had the same questions. As a blogger and dating strategist, she's taken to her following of men and women and asked them our most pressing questions. Interested in learning what she found out? Keep scrolling to find out some super intriguing data about dating and relationships.
Sweety High: Tell us a bit about yourself!
Stephanie Daily: I'm a dating strategist, researcher and content creator. I gather data from my male and female audience and compare opinions and responses on various dating and relationship topics. It's fascinating to see how women and men differ and compare across different dating scenarios, desires and beliefs!
SH: What are the common relationship "mistakes" all young women should avoid?
SD: Some of the most common mistakes I've seen are when women allow certain behaviors that are not in alignment with how they want to be treated and changing themselves into someone they think their crush is attracted to.
We show people how to treat us based on how we allow them to treat us. The stronger you stand in your worth, standards and beliefs, the easier it is to filter out the wrong people, faster. Your worth as an individual and as a partner is something you should never have to compromise, negotiate or prove.
The second we try to mold ourselves into something we think someone else wants us to be is the moment we abandon ourselves and place our happiness in the hands of someone who may not be worthy of it. The right partner will inspire you to grow and be your best self. There is a fine line between being inspired in this way vs feeling like you need to change yourself or else your crush/partner won't want you.
SH: If a young woman has a crush on someone, what advice would you give her?
SD: Confidence is magnetic. Smiles are inviting. Laughter is contagious. Keep it fun and lighthearted! But most importantly, don't change yourself based on who you think your crush is attracted to. This can easily chip away at your self-confidence and negatively affect the way you show up for yourself and other people.
SH: What do most people think about kissing on the first date?
SD: There are no rules when it comes to kissing or not kissing on the first date. I polled my audience on this question: Out of 966 men and women, 55% of them said they "almost always kiss on the first date." 45% of men and women said they "don't typically kiss on the first date." Ultimately, kissing on the first date is up to you and the amount of chemistry and comfort you are experiencing with your date!
SH: What are the common signs that your crush likes you back?
SD: If your crush likes you back, they will likely be doing things to get your attention and be around you. Hopefully, they are straightforward with their words and actions and you'll be able to tell. But if not, here are some more common signs that your crush likes you back:
- They message or call you just to talk.
- They remember things you told them, even the smallest details.
- They make plans to hang out with you.
SH: What are the common signs that your crush isn't into you?
SD: When someone isn't into you, their effort and energy won't be flowing towards you. Disinterest can look like:
- They're inconsistent with you (hot and cold).
- You're the one always initiating conversation and keeping the conversation going.
- If they talk about other people they're attracted to right in front of you.
Sometimes people prefer someone else and it has nothing to do with you as a person, it has to do with their personal preference. Someone's disinterest is not an invitation to try and change their mind. Consider rejection as a redirection!
SH: Do you have any advice for young women dealing with heartbreak?
SD: You're going to be okay, but it starts with you taking them off the pedestal you originally stepped down from.
Heartbreak has the ability to shatter the pillars underneath every level of our being: mental, emotional, physical and spiritual. We no longer question our partner, we question ourselves: our appearance, actions, words, values, standards, environment, intuition, dignity and our worth. We have just been given one of the most precious opportunities to reevaluate just about everything and evolve.
Sharing your thoughts and emotions with supportive friends and family can help you process your experience and pain. Processing emotions will be different for everyone. Sometimes it looks like reading to gain new perspectives, understanding or journaling to vent. Once you're done sitting in the emotional muck it's time to begin your glow-up. You have to constantly choose growth over pain. That means not checking your ex's social media platforms, rereading texts, looking at old pictures, etc. Growth is anything that feeds your peace/happiness and starves your pain. Maybe you experience this when you're hanging out with your friends, reading something new or diving into a hobby or passion.
SH: What should every young woman know about dating/relationships?
SD: Your time here is so precious and our lives are not meant to be spent constantly questioning why someone didn't choose us. Our lives are meant to be spent with people who invest in us—someone who adds value to our lives, makes us happy and emotionally, physically and mentally secure. Relationships should be a mutual source of joy, retreat and release, not constant confusion, anxiety and sadness. Don't choose someone who isn't choosing you. You'll let amazing experiences and partners pass you by.
Are you dating right now? Look HERE for the best ways to ask someone to be your girlfriend or boyfriend.