How to Deal With a Friend Who Only Talks About Their S.O.
Let's face it: Most people in relationships—particularly young and fresh romances—are deeply annoying about their significant other.
We love watching people in love, but absolutely nobody needs to hear about the pure bliss of a romance they're not even a part of 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
While you can normally extract yourself from exchanges where one person only wants to gush about their partner, it becomes a lot more difficult if the lovestruck conversationalist is one of your close friends.
So how do you deal with a pal who only talk about their significant other? Keep scrolling for our best tips.
1. Give Them a Little Time to Gush
If you're not part of a romantic relationship, it can be really hard and oftentimes frustrating to hear about how great it is. Do you really care that your BFF's boyfriend texted her 27 times last night using just heart emojis? Of course not! However, part of being a good friend is giving your pal space to talk about the things that are important to them, even if it's not your ideal topic of discussion.
If your friend wants to spend all their time talking about their S.O., it's because they're genuinely happy and they want to share that happiness with you. The best thing you can do as a close pal is give them a little time and space to gush. They'll appreciate your attention and it'll feel good to share their positive feelings. Who knows—it might even boost your mood to see someone you care about so happy.
(Gossip Girl via The CW)
2. Decide When You've Had Enough
Even though it's good to give your friend a little time to talk about their S.O., you shouldn't have to listen to it all the time. If you fail to cut in and discuss something else, you're doing a friendship a disservice, especially if their constant chatter about their relationship is annoying you. Not only are you allowing your bitterness to build, which might eventually result in a blow-up, you're also not creating space for you and your friend to expand your relationship and discuss things that are actually important to both of you, and not just your BFF.
Chances are, if your friend is really happy in their romance, they won't even fully realize how much time they're spending talking about their S.O. Therefore, you have to determine just how much you want to hear about their relationship. You don't have to have an actual time limit set up, but be cognizant of your feelings, acknowledge when the relationship chatter is becoming too much for you and have the courage to cut in. It'll be awkward at first, but much healthier for your friendship in the long run.
3. Change the Subject
Once you've decided that you've had enough of the relationship talk, you have to find a way to shift your friend away from the incessant chatter about their S.O. without causing an argument. The easiest way to do this is to simply change the subject. When you reach an opening in the conversation, bring up a new topic that you and your friend are both passionate about, but one that doesn't include their significant other. You can then veer away from talk about your friend's relationship without having to confront the issues head-on and open up the door for a potential argument.
(Friends via NBC)
4. Be Direct
As we've all experienced at some point, sometimes simply changing the subject isn't enough. It might work for a little while, but, suddenly, your friend finds a connection to their significant other in your other topic and viola!, you're back to talking about their perfect romance. Cue the eye roll.
It's at these moments—when your friend just isn't taking the hint—that you have to be a little more direct. Kindly and compassionately tell them that they've been spending a lot of time talking about their relationship. Try not to focus on their actual romance, but instead focus on how their relationship-chatter is impacting your friendship. Be clear that you value them and that you're only upset because you feel like it's gotten in the way of the two of you bonding. They might get defensive and upset at first, but ideally they'll come to understand your point of view and realize that their relationship isn't the only thing worth talking about.
5. Set Boundaries
If your bestie truly isn't getting the hint about stepping back on the relationship talk, it's okay to set boundaries for yourself. Constantly hearing about another person's relationship can be draining and exhausting, not to mention the fact that your brewing annoyance is only going to have a negative impact on your friendship.
If your pal has been talking about their relationship longer than you're willing to listen, it's okay to remove yourself from the conversation. Make up an excuse for why you have to get going, don't answer their text messages right away, ignore their phone calls for a few hours—whatever you have to do to extricate yourself from those conversations, do it. It will keep you from getting bitter and annoyed with your pal, which could lead to rash decisions that might irreparably hurt your friendship. In addition, separating yourself from those conversations might eventually clue you pal into the fact that they really need to dial back the relationship talk.
(Mean Girls via Paramount Pictures)
Not all friendships are built to last. If you're feeling iffy about your pal. click HERE for 4 things you should never feel in a true friendship.