10 Signs Your Friend Is Toxic
Do you have a pal who always seems to butt heads with you or is constantly getting under your skin?
In some cases, it could be because you two spend too much time together or you've gotten way too comfortable around each other. In other cases, it could be because they're simply just a toxic person. If indeed they're toxic, it's likely they won't change, therefore continuing to be a poisonous presence in your life.
Curious whether your friendship has simply hit a rough patch, or your "pal" is just a bad seed altogether? Keep reading for 10 signs your friend is toxic.
1. They Blame You for Everything
Part of respect and healthy relationships is owning up to your mistakes when you know you're at fault. A toxic friend never accepts their wrongdoings and always turns things around to make you seem like the one who did something problematic. In some cases, their twisted take on situations gets so bad that you start doubting yourself and begin believing you're always in the wrong.
(Glee via Fox)
2. They Spill Your Secrets
This is an obvious toxic friend characteristic. When someone shares tidbits of information about you that you have specifically said should remain secret, they've crossed the line. Unless your health or well-being is in jeopardy, or there's some other major, justifiable reason for them to share, airing your dirty laundry is an act of utmost toxicity.
3. They Make You Look Bad in Front of Others
Someone toxic will use any excuse to make you a laughing stock. Whether it's making fun of your outfit, talking about something embarrassing that you did or mocking you for eating fries for lunch—they bask in pointing out (or creating) your flaws and getting others to notice.
(Gossip Girl via The CW)
4. They Pit You Against Others
A toxic person is typically one who isn't happy with who they are, so if they see others enjoying someone's company, it can really get under their skin. This kind of friend will jump at the chance to tell you something someone else may or may not have said about you, or feed your ear with negative thoughts about the person. And through it all, they make sure they come out like they're the good friend by helping you see someone else's "true colors."
5. They Monopolize Your Time
While it can feel good to be needed, if a person demands your time, or prevents you from seeing other people, this is veering into seriously toxic territory. It's certainly understandable that a friend turns to you during a difficult time or if they're having a bad day, but when someone becomes dependent on you, it can make you feel trapped.
(Gossip Girl via The CW)
6. They're Straight-Up Mean to You
File this one under duh, but still, we need to point it out, because there's a big difference between a silly joke here and there and a straight-up jab. A toxic person doesn't laugh with you—they laugh at you. If, for example, you're a messy eater but you always own it and your friend pokes fun at you for leaving a restaurant with your hair dipped in spaghetti sauce, that's not mean. But if they harp on how disgusting you are and how they can't believe you don't eat like a civilized human being, that's not okay.
7. They Tell You Things They Know Will Upset You
Do you really want to know that your ex took a family trip with their new S.O.? Um, probably not. A toxic friend will make sure you know what your exes are up to, where your friends are going without you, that so-and-so made the soccer team even though you didn't… and the list goes on! Especially if you've made it clear to this friend that you don't want to know about certain things, if they still bring them up, they are beyond toxic.
(Riverdale via The CW)
8. They Disrespect Your Boundaries
If you tell a friend you need to be left alone during certain hours for studying, or that you have plans with someone else over the weekend, they should understand that means you're doing your own thing. Or, going off of No. 7, if you tell them you don't want to hear about something, they should know not to bring it up. If you tell them you'd appreciate them not following your ex on Instagram, they should respect that. Not adhering to boundaries you deserve to set for yourself is very toxic.
9. They Brush Off Your Accomplishments
While we get that some people talk about themselves or brag a bit more than others, they should at least equally celebrate your wins, too. A toxic person makes everything about them and has the inability to genuinely bask in another person's fortune.
(Pretty Little Liars via Freeform)
10. They're Unrightfully Rude to People Close to You
It's totally normal for you and a friend to not like all the same people, or to even have different friend groups—but if this friend is straight-up rude to people you care about for absolutely no reason, that's a serious sign of toxicity. Not only does it show they're capable of acting disrespectfully, but, most importantly, they're capable of disrespecting you.
Do you have a friend who's way too needy? HERE's how to deal with someone who's always in "crisis" mode.