How to Handle Feeling Overwhelmed With Jealousy

Have you ever noticed the word "lousy" makes up most of the word "jealousy?" Yep, that's because it's a negative word that causes us to feel awful.

Like a few other emotions (guilt and worry, to name a couple), jealousy is a useless feeling that seriously gets us nowhere.

That said, who hasn't felt even the slightest inkling of jealousy at some point or another? It would be quite an accomplishment to say you've never been jealous of two of your friends hanging out without you; or one of your friend's lavish vacations; or your crush dating or flirting with someone who isn't you.

There are so many things that evoke jealousy within us. Unfortunately, it's human nature—but, the next time you feel that rush of angst, think to the list below of how you can calm yourself down when you're on the verge of a jealous meltdown.

1. Take a Step Back and Think About Why You're Jealous

There are moments in life that you can control, and many others than are totally out of your hands. If someone has something or does something that you would have never had access to anyway, don't stress about it. It's not like you regretfully turned down a date with the person they're dating or you missed your flight on an amazing trip they're on. Let people do their thing and you should do yours. It's easy to want what they have, but remember that there are plenty amazing things you're doing that you probably don't even realize make you enviable.

sad girl pouts with arms crossed at school dance

(Riverdale via The CW)


2. Analyze If and How Someone's Jealousy-Inducing Actions Are Truly Affecting You Directly

If two of your friends decide to hang out and don't invite you along, what's the worst that can happen? Probably nothing, unless you make a big stink about it, which will likely cause them to talk about you behind your back. But seriously, it's a lot different than, say, if someone makes out with your significant other. If a person's actions don't affect you directly, let it go. The next time you see the girl in your history class pop up on your Insta feed in yet another bikini, keep scrolling. She's not hurting you and she's clearly just fishing for attention. Let that be her own issue. If someone is directly hurting you, you should cordially confront the person about what's wrong and squash it stat.


3. Write Down Five Things in Your Life That Make You Grateful

You've probably read this tip a lot—and it sounds hard to believe—but simply jotting down five things you're grateful for will actually give you an instant self-esteem boost. It can be little things like finding a dope parking space at school today, or bigger things, like your parents are still happily married. Taking a moment to shift from the negative over to positive will put a smile on your face and get you to start thinking more upbeat.

A young teenage girl journaling on her bed

(via Shutterstock)


4. Keep Your Negative Feelings to Yourself, Your Closest Friends and Family Only

While it's easy to want to explode about your jealousy and lash out to anyone who will listen, stop and think about the repercussions before you go shouting your angst from the rooftops. Even though people will seem eager to lend a listening ear, it's usually not because they actually care about your feelings, but rather they enjoy the gossip. It's fine to vent your frustrations to people you truly trust, but outside of that circle, just know that whatever you say will most likely get back to who you're talking about and will not only make you look bad, but create a whole new slew of dramz.

At the end of the day, fake it 'til ya make it! Even if you're falling apart inside, to the general public, keep a smile on your face and never let 'em see you sweat. The more you hold yourself together, the more confident you'll feel.


5. Do Something Productive

Whether you update your blog, get in a good workout, get a head start on a lengthy school project or finally finish reading a book that's taken you forever, doing something productive will not only take your mind off of how you're feeling, but it will give you a sense of achievement, which will instantly boost your self-esteem.

girl sips coffee in kitchen while using her laptop computer

(via Shutterstock)


6. Find an Alternative to Social Media

So much of what bogs us down in our social life is based on content we encounter on social media. If you see that your crush just started dating your worst enemy, instead of constantly refreshing their feeds to give yourself ammo to be more upset, sign out of Instagram and turn to a couple alternatives.

If it truly delights you to live vicariously through the lives of others, but it's too overwhelming to keep tabs on all your peers, turn to the celebrity gossip sites. Call it mindless and vapid, but guess what? You get a chance to be in on the gossip of well-known individuals without having to worry about your crush or your ex-BFF being in the mix. Consider it a nice escape from reality.

In addition, to keep your mind busy and to connect with people on the internet who share similar interests, take a stab at a Facebook group. Here, you have a chance to comment freely and be yourself in a judgment-free space about a topic(s) that interests you with like-minded individuals.


Although we're definitely not proponents of jealousy, we must say we envy any female who Jake Miller wants to date. Find out who his celeb crush is HERE.