Red Flags to Look Out for in Your First Relationship

Red flags are what we're all on the lookout for these days, as if we're actual lifeguards trying to protect vacationing beachgoers from potential danger in the water.

Unfortunately, some relationship red flags are far more difficult to spot than sharks in the ocean—especially in your first relationship. There are many reasons for this, from being excited about having a partner for the first time to a simple lack of experience spotting these things in your own life. Things only get more complicated when you realize that some flags are a little redder than others, but thankfully we're here to help you spot the red flags early so that you navigate your relationship in a healthy way. With all that said, let's talk about the red flags you need to look out for in your first relationship:

Clinginess

Of course, you're going to want to be around your new partner, maybe even a lot. But if you're following them around like a puppy (or vice versa) or are constantly texting them when they're busy—even if you know exactly where they are—then you may want to take a step back. Think about what is making you so anxious that you feel the need to be as attached to your partner as you are, and think about what you might be missing out on by focusing all your attention on this person.

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Also read about: 4 Signs Your High School Relationship Won't Last Through College

 

Ditching or Ignoring Your Friends

Speaking of those things you might be missing out on, let's talk about your friends. Almost everyone will know (if not be) a person in their friend group who seems to fall off the face of the earth as soon as they're dating someone new, and this isn't good for any of the parties involved. Your entire world should not revolve around your partner, and it's a major red flag if it does. If you catch yourself bailing on your friends often these days or just downright choosing your partner over them at every opportunity, it might be time to reevaluate your priorities.

 

Focusing Only on Making Them Happy

If you're the type of person who thinks, "I hope they like me," after every date, you might be an anxious dater. An unfortunate problem with that is that you may give way to focusing entirely on your partner's wants and needs while not giving much thought to your own. This might not seem like a raging red flag at first (after all, isn't selflessness a good thing?), but it's a secret way to sabotage your own happiness and set the wrong kind of standard in your relationship—one where you have no real power. Try to take a different perspective to keep things on the right track, remembering to take your own wants and needs into account at all times.

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Criticism

Has your partner made comments about you that just didn't quite sit right, or that made you change your behaviors at all in a way that isn't so "you?" Big red flag. The problem with this behavior—especially if it's combined with the red flag above where you're just trying to do anything to make them happy—is that it can go unnoticed or get brushed for so long that you no longer see how bad it is anymore. In a worst-case scenario, it could even become gaslighting.

 

Not Getting Along With Your Friends

Your partner is supposed to add to your life in a positive way, not keep you completely separate from the things (and people) you love. If your friends just don't seem to like your partner, and especially if your partner doesn't like your friends, put up your alarm bells and start thinking deeply about what might be causing this rift. In your first relationship, your friends should come first. After all, they've known you for longer and on a different level than this person you're dating, so they might see the changes in you or even spot the red flags well before you do.

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Also read about: 4 Dating Terms That Took Over in 2022

 

 Love Bombing

And finally, love bombing. This is one of those manipulation tactics that can be subtle at first, or even make you feel good until it really doesn't. If your partner starts things off with a little too much on the gas pedal (or starts saying the "L" word really early on), stay aware. This behavior doesn't always lead to love bombing, but it's certainly something you want to keep your eyes wide open for.

 

Even if you are in a "bad" relationship that's showing tons of these red flags, it's still something you can learn a lot from. Click HERE to read more about what you can learn from such a relationship.