4 Ways to Know If You Should Break Up Before College

In movies like To All the Boys I've Loved Before, it seems inevitable that Lara Jean and Peter will make their relationship work after graduation—despite going to colleges thousands of miles apart.

Yet in real life, the decision to stay with your high school significant other is far more complicated. You're not just deciding on whether you want to continue your relationship—you're also making a choice that will affect how you experience college in one way or another. Whether you're fitting Zoom calls into your schedule or foregoing spring break with friends in order to travel to see your boo, attending college away from your S.O. means making lots of decisions to keep your relationship thriving.

But should you stick things out with your high school sweetheart? If you're on the fence, you may want to consider these reasons you might want to split up before you leave for separate colleges.

1. You're Bad At Communicating As Is

If you and your partner go to the same high school, it's not as necessary to have long, satisfying phono convos or even cute text banter—after all, you can always catch up with one another between classes in the hallway. However, if your S.O. rarely texts you back as is, don't expect that to change when texting and FaceTiming is the only way you'll have to communicate until one of you visits. If face-to-face communication is your strong suit with your S.O., a mostly virtual relationship probably won't be your ideal situation.


(To All the Boys: Always and Forever via Netflix)

2. Your S.O. Has Different Expectations For Your Relationship

Maybe your high school sweetheart has already come up with a schedule so that you visit one another's schools every other weekend, but you are more excited about all the new friends you can make and hang out with on campus. If you think your partner has unrealistic expectations for how much time you'll see each other or wants to see you way more or less than you hope to, it's likely a sign of conflict to come.


3. You're Already On the Fence About the Relationship

Maybe you don'want to break up with your prom date, but you're not sure you see yourself lasting long-term. While breakups are never fun, you may want to take going away to college as a solid reason to split up. Going into college with a person you're crazy about is complicated as is, but trying to make a long-distance romance work with someone you're kind of "meh" about is definitely not fun.


4. Jealousy Is An Issue In Your Relationship

Jealousy isn't romantic. It's possible for you or your partner to get jealous of the new life that your S.O. is building away from you, with friends you haven't met yet and may never really get to know as well as they do. If the thought of your significant other living a full life away from you makes you jealous, it might be worth exploring if this is a relationship that will ultimately make you happy since you'll confront those feelings pretty much every time you see them at a fun party on their IG story.


Want to read more about breakups? Click HERE to read about how to break up with someone you are still in love with.