7 Things You’ll Relate to If You’re in a Relationship But All of Your Friends Are Still Single

We see a lot of people dishing out advice for singles whose friends are all in relationships, and very little about the opposite situation.

That's a shame, because we find that being in a stable partnership can sometimes change the dynamics of our friendships and make things more complicated than ever. Maintaining balance between your romantic and platonic relationships and keeping everyone happy can be a lot of work, and if you don't put in the effort, one or the other is likely to suffer. If that sounds like you, we think you'll relate to the following seven things.

It's a Constant Balancing Act

Being a good partner and a good friend at the same time can feel like a constant balancing act where one size does not fit all. How much time is too much time with your partner? How much time is too much with your friends? Even if you split things down the middle, 50/50, you're not necessarily going to keep everyone happy—and it can be even more challenging when you're an introvert who also needs plenty of alone time.

If you don't want to disappear from your friends' lives but also want to prioritize your relationship, you'll have to feel things out and slowly transition to spending more time with your significant other. When your friends are used to you being around and available all the time, saying no to even one invite might rattle them, making certain friends feel like they're no longer important or you don't have any time for them. It also helps to be extra mindful and present, whoever you're with at the moment, and putting your phone away so you're not constantly in touch with the other party. Sometimes, a little jealousy is unavoidable, but by being intentional about it, you can rest easily knowing you've made the effort.

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You Might Get Excluded From Time to Time

Friendships, like any relationship, are a two way street, and just as you'll sometimes have to say no to hangouts with friends, you might also be excluded yourself on occasion. Friends might make assumptions that you'd rather spend time with your partner, or simply want to curate a more wild and outgoing vibe by only inviting the singles in the group. If you find this happening, don't be afraid to speak up and let people know you'd prefer to be invited and decline for yourself, if needed. Or, you can make some plans of your own to make sure you all get some time together.

 

Also read about: 35 Things to Look for in a Partner

 

It's Work to Ensure Someone Doesn't Feel Like a Third Wheel

Often, when you're with the right person, you also want them to be friends with your friends. This can come with its own complications. Time with all of your friends, plus your significant other, can have your S.O. feeling left out. After all, everyone knows you, and nobody knows them, so your attention is likely to be divided. On the other hand, inviting a friend or two to hang out with you as a couple can leave them feeling like third wheels. It's crucial to make an effort to include them as much as possible, while avoiding things like PDA or being too lovey-dovey, so you don't alienate your friends. Maybe you're better than us at keeping this equilibrium, but sometimes, it's simpler to just keep these two parts of your life entirely separate.

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Sharing Experiences Can Get Tricky

We love sharing new experiences with a partner, whether that's going out to try a new restaurant, watching a movie together for the first time or seeing new episodes of a show every week as they air. However, problems can arise when our friends want those things with us, too. Sometimes, plans with friends will conflict with promises you made to your significant other to taste that food or see that flick, and you'll have to make some snap decisions about your priorities.

 

You Might Not Always Be in Alignment With Your Friends

The longer you're in your relationship, the more likely you are to see that your priorities become different from those of your single friends. They might plan outings that are centered around going out and mingling with potential love interests, leaving you out of your element with nothing to do. The more settled down you are, the less fun these hangouts might be, and you have every right to excuse yourself and spend that time with your partner, instead. Conversely, they might find your preferred hobbies to be a bit stuffy or boring. It's okay to not be on the same  page about things and make purposeful choices about where you want to be and where you don't.

 

Also read about: What's the Deal With Micro-Mance? Here's What You Need to Know About the New Dating Trend

 

You're Often Asked for Relationship Advice (That You Don't Necessarily Have)

As the one person in your friend group who's in a relationship, there's a good chance that the others come to you for advice pertaining to their own relationships. While you might have a few helpful tips for them, a lot of the time, you might feel woefully unprepared to guide them in the right direction. You might have met your partner in a really organic and unplanned way through work, school or a shared community activity, which can be hard to replicate. If you're naturally compatible with your S.O. and share similar values and goals, you might struggle to counsel them through conflicts and compromises on the important stuff. Not everyone wants to hear that they should just look for someone who's a better fit, so you just settle with doing the best you can from your more limited perspective.

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It Can Be Work Not to Rub the Relationship in Their Faces

When you're in a great relationship, some people will find it boastful to even bring it up. You're fully entitled to brag on occasion, but at the same time, you don't want to make everything about your partner. Rather than rubbing the relationship in others' faces in a way that might annoy your friends, the topic come up when it's relevant. However, in certain friend groups your relationship may even become a sore spot. Unless your relationship is seriously toxic, if you feel like you have to walk on eggshells discussing your partner in front of your friends, withholding nice stories or omitting them from narratives to avoid bringing them up, you may need to have a serious conversation with your friends about jealousy and whether you can even maintain a harmonious friendship with them.

 

We think it's also important to go on solo dates, even when you're in a relationship. Find out all of the reasons HERE.