15 Relatable Squidward Quotes That Make Perfectly Angsty Instagram Captions

We all know that Squidward Tentacles is the true star of SpongeBob SquarePants.

He can be grumpy, pessimistic and a bit selfish—and we can honestly say we're exactly the same way. So, if you relate to Squidward on a spiritual level, keep reading to discover all of his best quotes that work perfectly as Instagram captions.

For when you feel like you might burst because you ate so much good food:

"What's going to happen? Am I gonna blow up?"


Also read about: These Classic Shrek Quotes Would Make Amazing Instagram Captions


For the photo of you dancing barefoot after taking off your cute but blister-inducing shoes:

"Oh, my aching tentacles."

SpongeBob SquarePants: Squidward Tentacles sitting looking disappointed
(SpongeBob SquarePants via Nickelodeon)


For the pic of you practicing the hobby that's going to make you famous—someday:

"Fortunately, I have enough talent for all of you."


Also read about: 100 Cute Captions for ANY Picture on Instagram


For the  shot of you being an unrepentant troublemaker:

"Why is it whenever I'm having fun, it's wrong?"


For a not-so-subtle hint that you're crushing on a boy in your picture:

"Oh no, he's hot!"

SpongeBob SquarePants: Squidward Tentacles handsome squidward

(SpongeBob SquarePants via Nickelodeon)


Also read about: Stranger Things Season 4 Volume 1 Quotes as Instagram Captions


For the photo of you lounging in bed until noon on the weekend:

"Wake me up when I care."


For the photo of you not crying at the movie that has all of your besties in tears:

"I have no soul."


For every photo of you being the third wheel to your BFF and her S.O.:

"It's just a cruel reminder that I'm single and likely to remain that way forever."


For the pic of your tech-ignorant self struggling with basic modern technology:


SpongeBob SquarePants: Squidward Tentacles future shock

(SpongeBob SquarePants via Nickelodeon)


Also read about: Wacky SpongeBob SquarePants Quotes That Make Great Instagram Captions


For the photographic explanation of everything that went wrong today:

"I knew I shouldn't have gotten out of bed today."


For those rare moments you get really dolled up for a night on the town:

"But it's my only night to be fancy!"


For that exhausted Friday night selfie announcing you'll be sleeping the whole weekend away:

"I might as well sleep for 100 years or so."


Also read about: 20 Instagram Captions About Confidence for Every Time You Need to Psych Yourself Up


For the magnificent photo of your completely unhealthy, but unquestionably delicious, meal before you chow down:

"I think my heart just stopped."


For documenting your self-care day:

"What are those neanderthals doing? Can't they see I'm spoiling myself?"


For when you know your own worth:

"Hello. You've reached the house of unrecognized talent."

SpongeBob SquarePants: Squidward Tentacles celebrating and excited in band

(SpongeBob SquarePants via Nickelodeon)


If you still need some Instagram guidance, click HERE for Instagram captions that work for every post of you and your bestie.