How to Actually Get to Know Your Crush

If you mostly admire your crush from afar (and get most of your info about them from social media), then chances are that you don't really know them that well.

Think it's time to actually get to know what makes your crush tick? Just follow these steps.

Initiate a Conversation

For some, the thought of starting a convo with a crush can be terrifying, but there's no way the two of you will get to know one another if you don't talk. Find an excuse to chat them up and follow through on it. Maybe they brought up something interesting in class, or they're really good at a subject you're struggling with.

If that'too scary, you can start talking to them via text or over social media, but use discretion. If you're overeager, you can scare them off. Keep things simple and wait for them to respond, (and give them a minute) before following up.

Stranger Things - Mike Wheeler and Eleven

(Stranger Things via Netflix)


Be Attentive

Once you've actually started talking, the only way you're going to learn anything about your crush is by really listening. Pay attention to what they say, and demonstrate that you're a good listener. Of course, try not to look like you're making a mental checklist of everything they say (even if you are). When it's your turn to respond, the things you say should reflect the fact that you were present and receptive to their words.


Be Patient

You probably want to know everything there is to know about your crush right away, but truly getting acquainted with someone is a process. It takes time, and these things can't be rushed. Don't forget that every opportunity to get to know one another means more time spent together. How could that be a bad thing?

Being patient also gives you a chance to go from light small talk in the beginning, to deeper personal questions later. If you become friendly in the early stages and disarm them, they'll be more willing to answer you later, once you've built up their trust.

Gravity Falls: Mabel's crush on turtle guy

(Gravity Falls via Disney XD)


Be Curious

If you're genuinely curious about and interested in the things your crush has to say, it'll show, so don't be afraid to follow that sense of wonder and ask questions. Mutual interests shouldn't go unexplored. You never want to make them feel like you're grilling them for information, but asking them about something they love will really get them to open up. People naturally like to discuss their strongest interests, and they put down their masks when they're super passionate.


See How They Respond to You

In order to get to know every aspect of your crush, you actually have to talk about yourself a little. See how they respond when you do, whether you're just making conversation or revealing personal truths. See if they listen and ask questions the way you do when they're talking. This will reveal their own interpersonal communication style, and might even give you a hint regarding whether they like you back or not.

Callie and AJ at a house party in The Fosters

(The Fosters via Freeform)


Still haven't heard back from your crush? Click HERE for the frustrating stages of waiting for your crush to text back.