When you’re an introvert and your crush is an extrovert, sometimes it can feel like you’re not even speaking the same language.

But getting to know your crush better doesn’t have to feel so impossible. Follow these seven steps to finally learn how to talk with your extrovert crush.

Be a Good Listener

Extroverts love to talk, which is good, because introverts tend to be good listeners. When they’re talking about a subject they’re passionate about, keep your ears open. Ask questions you’re genuinely curious about and you’ll stroke their egos, cementing yourself in their minds as someone who cares.


Be Part of the Conversation

As important as it is to listen, it’s also critical to contribute to the dialogue. It may be hard, but be sure to speak up when you have something to offer. If you let them do all the talking, they might think you’re just being friendly.


Text, Text, Text

Once you’re on texting terms with your extrovert crush, use your handy little phone to your advantage. With texting, you always have time to formulate the perfect clever response. It can be a lot easier than talking to your crush in person. If you’re shy, use texting as your time to shine and showcase the real you.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild - Zelda on Sheikah Slate next to Link

(The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild via Nintendo) 


Keep an Open Mind

As an introvert, even personal time with your crush can seem like a lot of work, but try to be open to it. When they want you around, they’ll let you know it. Even if it means pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, take them up on the offer and you may be pleasantly surprised with the results.

BOB'S BURGERS: Tina recalls a past Valentine's Day in the all-new "My Fuzzy Valentine" episode of BOB'S BURGERS airing Sunday, Feb. 10 (8:30-9:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. BOB'S BURGERS ™ and © 2013 TCFFC ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

(Bob’s Burgers via Fox)


Put Yourself in Their Social Spaces

Introverts may find this difficult, but if it’s at all possible, try to share the same social spaces with them. If you know they’ll be at a party, don’t ignore your invite. Also try to get to know their circle of friends. Seeing them in their natural habitat will also help you observe how they act around friends and finally determine whether they’re being flirtatious or just friendly with you.


Be Part of Their Social Media Circle, Too

Extroverts love presenting their best selves on social media, so help them do that. When it makes sense (and in moderation), tag them on Instagram and Facebook in flattering photos or to links and pictures you know they’ll enjoy, and that will make them look good. They’ll love the attention, and get a hint that you’re on their radar.


Just Ask

If all else fails, just come out and ask them how they feel about you. As an introvert, you probably don’t showcase your emotions easily, and as an extrovert, it’s unlikely they’ve picked up on your subtle cues. Extroverts are used to blurting things out, so it’s almost guaranteed that they’ll reveal their true feelings to you. If they don’t feel the same way, at least you’ll know.

The Incredibles: Violet Parr talks to her crush, Tony

(The Incredibles via Buena Vista Pictures)


If you want even more tools in your arsenal, click HERE for creative ways to get noticed by your crush.