5 Subtle Signs You're a Controlling Friend

Everyone's dealt with a controlling friend.

You know the one—she's bossy, opinionated and basically believes that it's her way or the highway. While recognizing that you have a controlling friend seems simple enough, it's much harder to come to terms with the idea the you might be the controlling friend.

So how do you know if you're the control-freak of your friend group? Keep scrolling for five subtle signs you're a controlling friend.

1. You Insist on Planning Everything

Putting together plans for any friend group is quite the undertaking. Coordinating schedules and getting everyone on the same page can be exhausting, but totally worth it once all your crew is in the same place. However, there's a big difference between taking on the burden of planning everything and insisting that you be the one to get all your friends together.

If you can't let anyone else make any decisions, it's usually not because you're just such a great planner—it's more likely that you have some serious control issues and you can't surrender the decision-making to anyone else. Not only does this put unneeded pressure on you, it also alienates your friend group from every activity that you're involved in. Try to loosen the reins a bit—both you and your friend group will be happy that you did.

Regina George from Mean Girls

(Mean Girls via Paramount Pictures)


2. Drama Seems to Follow You

Drama comes and goes, often for no real reason other than that people were bored and needed to stir the pot a bit. But if you find that you're always caught up in some kind of crisis, you might need to start considering that you're the problem.

If you're a controlling friend, drama is bound to follow you wherever you go. No one likes to feel like they're being manipulated or forced to do things, which will probably result in your friends lashing out at you. Hence, the constant drama. After all, you can only be involved in so many dramatic scenarios before you're forced to consider that the common denominator might be you. 


3. You Can't Think of Your Friends' Likes or Dislikes

Controlling friends are really only concerned with one thing: themselves. They're often only thinking about their own likes or dislikes, and ignoring what their companions might want in the process. If you can't recall anything your friends do or don't enjoy, you're definitely a controlling friend. It shows that you're often calling the shots, and you're more concerned with how things affect you than the way they're affecting your friends.

Cady and Regina at Lunch

(Mean Girls via Paramount Pictures)


4. You Get Jealous Very Easily

Control and jealousy often go hand-in-hand. While we've all felt that little twinge of envy when we see our BFF bonding with someone new, the little green monster shouldn't be a constant presence in your friendships. If you get easily jealous about other people your pals are spending time with, you might need to examine just how controlling you've become in your friendships. Constant jealousy shows that you feel a need to be in charge of who your friends are seeing and what exactly they're doing. Not only does it show highly controlling behavior, it also doesn't give you or your friends any space to grow and branch out, which will only serve to make all of you miserable.


5. You Think You Have a Right to Know Everything

Ah, the true hallmark of a controlling friend—the idea that your companionship with someone automatically means you're entitled to know everything about their life. While it's nice to share your deep, dark secrets with your pals, you don't have an automatic right to any of that information just because you're friends. What your friends choose to tell you and not tell you is completely up to them. If you find that you're constantly frustrated that your pals won't confide in you, you need to reexamine where you stand with your friends because you've definitely crossed the line into controlling territory.


Feeling like you don't quite fit in with your pals? Click HERE for five signs you're the black sheep of your friend group.