Is There Such Thing As a Non-Messy Breakup?
We are all privy to celebrities posting a black background with white text about how they and their beloved partner are going their separate ways.
It seems amicable initially, but then pictures surface of their partner hand-in-hand with a fellow co-star a few weeks later with a suspicious overlap, and in come the messy Twitter subtweets that folks consume like candy. Even those of us who aren't celebrities or people who share their relationship for public consumption still hear horror stories of people breaking up and being petty throughout the whole grieving process.
Despite social media painting a picture of every split being messy, there are ways to make the ending easy and avoid the mess altogether. Here are some tips to help you stay afloat during your breakup and things to steer clear of.
DO: Communicate Openly and Honestly
If you want space from your ex, share that. If there are things you would like to work out, let them know! When you communicate openly and allow yourself to be vulnerable, there leaves no room for mind games and manipulation. Hopefully, your partner has the maturity to give you the same grace.
DON'T: Take It to Social Media
The last thing you need is a petty breakup. Don't air your grievances and dirty laundry for the world to see. If you need to explain to your followers what is going on in your life, it's fine but do it maturely while not spilling all the nitty-gritty details. Those should be reserved for close friends only.
DO: Set Boundaries
Don't use closure as an excuse to prolong the breakup. Getting closure is overrated. You decide when it is time for you to heal. Don't wait for your partner's reasoning or explanation to kickstart your healing process. That also includes not checking in here and there, not blocking each other on every platform available and certainly not shooting off an "I miss you" text at 3 a.m. when you're out with friends. Setting boundaries with your ex, directly or just for yourself, will help your breakup go as smoothly as possible.
Also read about: How to Set Boundaries in an Already Established Relationship
DON'T: Say Things You Will Regret
Despite how enticing it is to tell your ex off, take a beat, think about the emotions coming up for you and try to let them go. Feel free to work out any issues that arose during the relationship and breakup with your ex but don't use them as an excuse to tear your ex down or prolong the ending. Again, we want to try to maintain maturity to avoid making things more painful than they need to be.
DO: Live Your Best Life
You are now out of a relationship that was no longer serving you. Congrats! Once you go through all stages of grief and you come out on the other side, use this as a time for self-exploration and preservation. The world is your oyster. Live your best main character energy life. We're talking nights out with friends, photoshoots, solo traveling and doing things out of your comfort zone. The Instagram breakup glow-up post is awaiting.
Want to learn more breakup tips and tricks? Click HERE for breakup rules to live by with relationship expert Amy Chan.