There’s no doubt that being the dumpee in a relationship is difficult, but sometimes being the dumper is just as hard.

After all, you did genuinely care for this person, so it makes sense that you’d want to make the breakup as painless as possible.

Hurt feelings are a given in any breakup, but there are some things you can do prior to the end of your relationship to minimize the damage. Keep scrolling for five important things to do before you end a relationship.

Make Sure It’s What You Want

Once you start the breakup process, there’s really no going back. Sure, post-breakup reconciliations are always an option, but the relationship between you and your S.O. will be forever changed. Before you actually talk to your S.O. about breaking up, make sure you’re positive it’s what you want.

If you’re making a rash decision out of temporary frustration or doubt, it might be a good idea to give yourself a little more time before you actually end what you two have. After all, you wouldn’t want to cause your S.O. unnecessary pain or go through the difficult breakup process only to realize you were wrong.

(Friends via NBC)

 

Gather Your S.O.’s Stuff

If you’re planning to end a relationship, it’s better to do it quickly and leave very little opportunity to stay in contact with each other, at least for a little while. A clean and easy break will be better for you and your S.O. in the long run, even though it might be difficult at the time.

In order to minimize contact, it’s best to gather all your S.O.’s stuff before you actually go through with the split. This eliminates the need to sift through potentially painful memories following the deed, and it allows you to present them with a box of their belongings during the breakup, rather than dealing with an awkward encounter after the fact.

 

Plan What You’re Going to Say and Stick to It

Breakups are an emotional rollercoaster, both for you and your S.O. If you’re the one ending the relationship, you want to be able to fully explain your reasoning and give them a sense of closure, but the ability to say everything you want to say is often difficult when you’re caught in an emotional moment.

In order to avoid becoming tongue-tied during your breakup speech, practice what you’re going to say beforehand. You don’t need to plan a full script—just develop the main points of your reasoning in your head and go over it a few times so you won’t forget what you want to get across.

Once you’ve decided what you’re going to say, make sure you stick to it. Hurt feelings might cause your S.O. to lash out in anger, but if you respond the same way, you’re only creating a cycle of blame and guilt that will have no benefits to the future of your relationship with your new ex. Keeping a cool head can salvage some hope for a cordial relationship in the future, even if you’re never going to be best friends.

(Gilmore Girls via The CW)

 

Eliminate Reminders of Your S.O.

Following a breakup, you definitely don’t want to return home to grieve, only to enter a room filled with reminders of a person you once loved. You’ll likely be emotional, so it’s better to eliminate these reminders beforehand and give yourself room to recover without mementos of your relationship staring you in the face.

Pictures, gifts, jewelry—it’s best to set these and anything else that might remind you of your failed romance aside, at least temporarily. You might even want to go through your phone and delete any pictures of the two of you. You can back them up on your computer if you’re not willing to fully get rid of them, but it might make you feel better to limit your contact with these painful memories directly following a breakup.

 

Confide in a Friend

Even if you’re the one doing the dumping, ending a romantic relationship is hard for everyone involved. You might not struggle as much as your ex, but it’s likely you’ll still need a little support to make it through the rougher days. Confiding in a friend prior to your breakup allows you to warn them that you might be leaning on them a little more than usual, meaning they can prepare and plan for the days when you’re a little needy.

Plus, talking through the reasoning for your breakup with a friend can provide all new insights that will help you cope more effectively with the end of your relationship.

 

Now you know what to do before your own breakup, but what if your BFF confides in you about their impending split? Click HERE for how to successfully help a friend deal with a breakup.