As people who can’t stand talking on the phone, we’re pretty happy that in this increasingly digital age, regular phone conversations have become less and less of a routine thing.
That said, being able to hold a phone conversation remains a necessary skill. Even if you’re not used to it, talking on the phone is often essential in work environments and for dealing with customer service issues or placing orders or reservations. Plus, some folks just want to have a good old telephone conversation from time to time. Phone anxiety can be very real, but there are ways to overcome it and improve your phone communication skills at the same time. Below, we have a few tips for you.
Calm Down
We know it’s easier said than done, but before you hop onto that stressful phone conversation, we recommend taking a moment to ground yourself and calm down. Start with a breathing exercise, focusing on your breath and counting each inhale and exhale. Try listening to some white noise or meditation music, and wiggle your fingers and toes, focusing on inhabiting your body rather than living the experience entirely in your head.
Next, put things into perspective. The stress of an impending call can make you feel like you’re being chased by a wild animal, so instead reinforce the reality and what the real stakes are. Often, the worst thing that could happen is that you sound a little silly to someone, or mess up your pizza order. Even when it’s a higher-pressure scenario, like a job interview, it’s not a matter of life or death, and the right point of view can help you relax and rise to the situation.
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Also read about: 9 Helpful Ways to De-Stress and Promote Relaxation in Just 10 Minutes
Eliminate Distractions
When you’re nervous about a phone call, you might be tempted to surround yourself with things to take your mind off of the conversation. Stay focused on your goal and remember that the more distracted you are, the more difficult the call is likely to become. Instead, try to be present, putting away other screens or texts that might draw your eye, or anything that might take your full attention away from what’s being said. If you can’t help but move during the chat, consider a fidget toy, walking around as you talk or to jotting down notes as you listen, so you’re prepared to respond when it’s your turn.
Start With Scripts
Creating a bit of a script before your phone conversation can help you make sure you sounds friendly and knowledgable, without forgetting to hit any important topics or ask questions. Most of the time, this won’t be a literal writeout of everything you’ll be seeing, but instead a few phrases that might guide you in either a bullet pointed list or a flow chart of sorts. This way, if you’re tossed a curveball, you can improvise and jump around as necessary, and then come back to the list of talking points when you’re ready.
If you’re not used to talking on the phone, having an introductory phrase like, “Hi, this is [name]. How are you?” and a “Thank you so much for your time. Have a great day,” at the end can also be a life-saver.
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Slow Down
A lot of people start to rush and speed up when they get nervous, which can lead to further stress and mistakes. Resist this urge by allowing yourself to go slow and breathe. Take pauses and give yourself a chance to think before you speak in order to be as clear, thoughtful and concise as you can be. If you feel yourself speeding up again, don’t feel like you need to maintain that pace. You also don’t have to rush to come up with answers you don’t have. Instead, acknowledge that you need time and create an opportunity to catch up with more information—perhaps over text, email or even in person, if that will be easier for you.
Embody a Character
Sometimes, if you feel like you’re awkward on the phone, the best thing you can try is to embody someone else. There are no rules against putting on a persona that’s basically you, but more positive, confident and sure of themself. Put on a smile and try on this elevated version of yourself, and if you make any mistakes along the way, attribute them to the character, rather than yourself. Keep your goal in mind when you’re crafting this persona. If you’re on with customer support making a complaint, don’t be afraid to be a little more demanding and aggressive than your usual self. If it’s a job interview, act like the role already belongs to you and you know it. For some of us, maintaining this mask for a long time can be exhausting, but it gets the job done.
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Also read about: Avoid These 5 Phrases to Sound More Confident When You Speak
Practice
We know it’s not the advice that anyone wants to hear, especially when you’re anxious about being on the phone, but regular practice and exposure really does make every call feel like less of a big deal. Try placing a food order over the phone, even when online ordering is available, or calling up a friend to chat for the sake of practice. This can help you get over the things that make phone conversations different than face-to-face interactions, such as not being able to respond to facial reactions, or not being sure when to jump in because you can’t see them talking.
It can also help to just get better to talking to people in general. Socializing is a skill you have to develop whether you’re on the phone or not. Whether you get more practice by talking to yourself in front of the mirror or engaging with smalltalk with strangers, every little bit counts.
Looking for more tips on talking to people? Click HERE to learn how to communicate more assertively and get what you want out of life.
